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Friday, June 23, 2017

Acting my age. That would be my imagined age.

It's so interesting to look in the mirror.  I am often taken by surprise and left wondering who is staring back at me!  In my mind, I am in my 30s - maybe early 40s (my favorite years).  Someone forgot to let the old broad in the mirror in on the secret.


Along with age comes all sorts of 'benefits'.  You get to fill your weeks with appointments for 'preventative' check-ups and procedures.  One of my favorites is the colonoscopy.  It's right up there with major dental surgery without the benefit of Novocain.  After putting it off for 11+ years (it took that long to almost forget my first one), I was brow-beaten into having another yesterday.  By far, the worst part is the prep.  You also lose two days of your young life.  I suffered through Wednesday and then was driven to the medical center early yesterday with a caffeine-withdrawal headache and a bad attitude.  I will spare you the details because, you know, TMI.


The colonoscopist (or whatever they're called) was a rather charming older man with a well-practiced bedside manner.  The nurses were adorable and we got into a lively discussion on all things poultry (one grew up on a dairy farm and the other has always had ducks).  During the follow-up session, my true, adolescent colors shone true.


Doctor M.  - "Because of the polyp (I had one small, lousy polyp) and your sister's polyps, you need to have this done every five years."


Me - "And who's going to make me?  I won't be able to forget how much I hate it in five years.  I can't take it.  Who's idea was the prep work, anyway?  The Marquis de Sade?"


Doctor M. - "See you in five years."


Me - "Don't forget to take a good picture, 'cause you ain't seeing it again..."


Doctor M.  Eye roll.


I had a giant cup of coffee on the way home - which did have some calming effect on my nerves.  Then I laid about the house and whined for a while.  All under the watchful eyes of Nurse Lovey and Nurse Bert.


Nurse Lovey keeping a safe distance
until Mom's coffee kicks in.
Mr. Knows Something is Up.
Trying to do my best to guarantee that there would be nothing but healthy pink colon in my future (TMI????), I eased my way back into the land of the nourished with a broccoli quiche.  My neighbor had given me a nice, smallish head of broccoli from his garden and, you know, I have a few eggs lying around.  My new, better self also had a green smoothie for breakfast this morning - frozen chopped pineapple, fresh strawberries, a frozen banana, half a small frozen avocado, a good fistful of kale from the garden and water.  I felt absolutely virtuous.


In my ready-made GF pie crust
because I was recovering and faint and...
lazy.
Thanks to the plentiful rain (although too much rain does take its toll on flavor) and the mid-summer like temps, the strawberry bed is over-producing.  It could also have something to do with the fact that I squeezed 50 plants into a 4x8 bed.  If nothing else, there are so many strawberries that the chipmunks can't keep up with them - I actually have two gallons of berries in the fridge!





24 comments:

  1. Great post . . . even if it did revolve around a doctor's visit you'd just as soon forget . . . asap.

    Our chipmunks have been wreaking havoc on my flower blooms (wonder what nutritional value they get from them?) . . . maybe because my strawberries aren't ripe yet. Anywho, eleven of them (!) have been dispatched to that great chipmunk playground in the sky and we may not stop at that number. (So how come we see only one of the little buggers at a time?)

    Yes, quiche can't be beat at this time of year when we're all rolling in eggs, eggs, eggs!

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  2. Mama Pea - I am about to unleash the Chipmunkinator on my horde. I know they will be eyeing the rest of the garden, once the strawberries go by. Do they eat one type of flower more than others? I know mine would follow brazenly behind me as I planted sunflowers, but they didn't seem to touch anything else. The voles did that. It never ends.

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  3. Some old fat broad has been following me around for years now and I still can't figure out who she is. :) I'm still 40 years old, you know.

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    1. We can't seem to shake them, can we? If I could choose an age where I could stick, it would be 40. Of course, I could be suffering from delusional selective rosy memory.

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  4. It's funny how young our minds remain young while the rest of us age. I still get shocked when I'm not carded for buying alcohol, unless there is a mirror behind the counter!

    On another point, I still think my parents look really young for their ages until I pull up old videos and photos of them and it makes me almost cry at how much they have aged through the years. Whoever said time has a way of sneaking up on you really knew what they were talking about!

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    1. Ed, I am bracing for September, when my mother (who KNOWS HER MIND) has requested we sit through our past lives on slides. I may need a few stiff drinks to get through it. I am hoping I can bask in the glow of youthful memories and not cry in my wine about the loss of youth.

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  5. Please don't tell me that they do those tests while the patient is awake!?! How horrible! So far, I've lucked out and not had one. My doc did a blood test that showed my risk levels are extremely low. So, he figured it was best not to do it. Yet. I'm good with that! I agree with that whole mirror thing and wondering what the heck happened. I feel like I'm in my 30's-ish but the gray hair and changes in my skin don't seem to go along with that. But, I'm happy to be here as long as I possibly can. So, I guess I can't complain...too much. lol I'm amazed to read how well your strawberry garden is going! That's wonderful! We've tried growing them but the pill bugs always got to most of them before we did. That's pretty clever to plant so many that the chipmunks can't keep up. Enjoy! They look delicious! Have a wonderful weekend! I bet it'll be extra sweet knowing you won't have to go through that test again any time soon. ;-)

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    1. You are in, what they call, the "Twilight Zone". I'll say. You are aware of what's going on but zoned out, if that makes any sense. I much prefer that to zonked out completely, but, still... Are you kidding? You look like a teenager! xoxo

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  6. I like when you pass a mirror and say "oh there's my mother",only to quickly realize it's you. My sister said to me "wait until you hit your 70s", and I totally poo pooed it and now I am here and realize she is right. There is a definite shift in many ways.

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    1. Not only am I starting to look like my mother, but I'm starting to sound like her. I love her, bless her heart, but I'd rather pass on the sound-like.

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  7. aging is not for the meek! the birds helped themselves to all of my strawberries. i might have salvaged 10.

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  8. I had my first this year. You are right. The prep is the worse part. The second part of the prep I couldn't keep down. (Can you say projectile vomiting?) The test.. not bad at all. I don't have to go back for ten years. Yay!

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    1. Show-off! :) I'll say. The last 8 oz. did NOT go down.

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  9. I am in the 5 year club too. Hate it! Except, that propofol gives me the best 1 hour sleep I've ever had. Your smoothie sounds a lot like mine.

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  10. THAT'S what I should have done this morning before it gets to triple digits this weekend – pick strawberries! Sadly, I've been a little distracted....

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  11. Sorry you had to go through that horrible prep, but glad to hear the actual procedure wasn't too bad. From one strawberry grower to another, do you have a big enough freezer? How big is your strawberry patch? Your food later that day sounds positively virtuous! -Jenn

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  12. I am glad you went. You know my opinion on that nasty but very important procedure. He will see you in five years....right. xo Hug B

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  13. I've had several colonoscopies over the years and you're right, the prep the day before is the WORST! But oh my, what wonderful drugs they give you for the procedure itself. I enjoy that part.

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  14. My mom is 85 yrs old and a colon cancer survivor. She's been cancer free for 7 yrs and she's never slowed down, still grows a big garden and wakes up every morning raring to go. I'm 61 and recently found out I need both knees replaced! When I was hesitant to have the surgery, mom said, Why wait?!? You'll be the Bionic Woman! Ha! More like the 6 million dollar woman, with the cost of health care...

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  15. Hi Susan! :) Did I comment on your post? My memory is foggy...I do remember reading it though! Your quiche looks great. I"m sorry you had to go through the colonoscopy...I know there are procedures I probably should be getting...but even getting me into a doctor's office is a procedure in itself lol...your nurses are just so sweet. :)

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  16. After my stint in the hospital with that intestinal mess (from that antibiotics) the doctors insisted I get a colonoscopy immediately after returning home. Ha. Yeah. Didn't happen. The quiche looks delicious by the way.

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  17. Susan,

    OMG....the dreaded colonoscopy!!!! Girl, I so dread that test as well. I've been putting it off, now I get to make the appointment. They say you need to have it done when you hit 50 years of age.....well I'm 55 and still haven't had one done. Hey do you think they could push it out to every 20 years?? Better to stay on top of polyps.....
    I wonder if the doctor would be upset if we changed up his/her plans and brought a bottle of wine to the procedure and topped off the meds....LOL!!! I'm just saying, this would take the edge off a bit.

    YUM....now that's a nice looking quiche! What type of strawberries did you plant this season? The berries are beautiful, and your smoothie sounds divine.

    Hugs,
    Sandy

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  18. oh Susan - i don't know how i missed this post!!!! i am sorry that you had to have that procedure done but i am glad that your little helper nurses helped you through it and that you don't have to go back anytime soon!

    as for aging and stuff - oh crap - i am going through peri-menopause, pre-menopause or full-on menopause right now. i've read 10 million books on the subject, don't know which stage i'm in, i'm only 47 but have dealt with a variety of the symptoms since i was 30. and in this last year i have lost a lot of body weight. not good at all in my mind. and you know the way we eat!

    i wish we women bloggers would talk more about aging and some of us could teach the younger ones about what to expect and whatnot.

    i catch myself in the mirror as well and wonder who the heck is that>!?!?!? then i play a Cure song, Duran Duran song, Depeche Mode song, Cyndi Lauper song and no one can tell me i'm not still 14/16/18 - heck i'll even go as old as 20!!!!

    although nothing quite gets me going like Marky Mark's "good vibrations". bahahahahahaah!

    i am sending much love, as always! your friend,
    kymber

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  19. I had a colonoscopy as well a few years ago and the prep really is the worst. Ick. I don't remember much after they gave me the medication then went to bed when I got home and woke up 4 hours later. The alternative of not having one is definitely something you do not want to do! Colon cancer kills a lot of people because they think they could just keep putting it off. On another note I really envy your strawberries! I want to plant some but I don't know where and it's so hot here I'm not sure if they would do really well. Maybe I will look into that next year...

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