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Monday, May 28, 2012

Monday Musings.

It occurred to me while I was shoveling heavy layers of chicken poop for the second day, that this little chore would make a great community service requirement for some miscreant.  Other than me.  I could almost guarantee there would be no repeat offenders if the sentence included cleaning out chicken coops after a long, wet winter.  And how about untangling a mass of poultry netting?  Would some purse-snatcher, staring at a Coach bag dangling temptingly from a shoulder consider going another round with the mass-of-poultry-netting-from-hell worth the chance?  I think not.  Considering pinching that doodad from the store?  How does a sentence of 500 hours of cat-washing grab you?  I am sure we could come up with a list of penalties that would turn around the criminal mind.

I have a very vivid memory of what deterred me from my life of crime.  Yes, I was headed down that murky path at a very young age.  I sashayed over to our nearest local store - another one of those walkabouts that drove my poor mother mad with worry - I must have been around nine.  I didn't have the concept of money down yet, although I did have a small allowance, so I meandered up and down the two aisles of the little store and helped myself to a piece of bubble gum.  The store owner saw me, grabbed me by the arm and called my parents (after he threatened to call the coppers!)  My mother came with a neighbor who had a car and there was some very stern talking-to, thinly veiled threats, and tearful promises from me to walk the straight and narrow, after forking over my one cent for the purloined gum.  I remember the store owners as a kind and friendly couple, so I can only imagine that this "show" was for my benefit.  And it worked.  To this day, I  a) cannot stomach bubble gum, and b) break into a cold sweat at the sight of a police car.

11 comments:

  1. Cat washing? Oh dear. I know THAT doesn't go over very well. My EX husband threw a cat in the tub with me once. Have you ever seen a cat shoot STRAIGHT UP into the air?? And all claws are out. You'll notice I said EX husband. Jackass.

    Sorry you had to shovel chicken poop all weekend. That would also be a good job for EX husbands!
    ;)

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  2. My dear husband who usually does any yucky chore without complaints, was in a rare mood this weekend and was going on and on about one particular homestead-y chore that he wasn't enjoying. I reminded him that we could sell this place and move to a nice condo complete with lawn service . . . or we could have the right attitude about less than pleasant work on the homestead which is part of this lifestyle we've chosen. Happily, he saw the wisdom of my words (well I'll be darned!) and worked his way to the conclusion that it's all in the way we choose to look at things.

    However, I definitely do agree with you that some of our chores would be wonderful experience for certain misguided souls out there! Hee-hee.

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  3. I use the deep litter method for my small flock, glad I don't have to do that!

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  4. Is it strange that I sorta envied the part when you talked about shoveling the chicken poop after a long, wet winter. The wet part, that is. Any moisture would be most welcome here now.

    Anyways, I firmly believe in making criminals (REAL criminals, not granny getting locked up for rolling a joint for her glaucoma) pay for their crimes with hard labor. Too bad that our current justice system doesn't see it that way. Can you imagine how clean our streets/parks/cities could be? How many hours of community service could benefit the community? No, we just let them sit on their duffs, getting FREE medications, FREE food, FREE "housing"......ugh, must stop ranting.

    But thanks for sharing your little trip down bubble-gum-felon lane!

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  5. Ha! How about skunk sprayed cat washing? Been there. Done that. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. That would be a deterrent for sure!

    Carolyn makes some excellent points. I once had a friend who said that she sort of was considering committing a petty crime. Nothing that would hurt anyone, but bad enough to get 30 days in jail. Because the way she saw it, 30 days in jail would be a vacation compared to her normal life. She was joking, of course, but part of her was serious. It's a sad commentary on modern society if you ask me!

    BTW - the only time I ever shoplifted was once as a kid some friends and I rode our bikes to the local 5 & dime... I had picked out my penny candy, and then some sort of ruckus erupted on the sidewalk outside. I ran out to see what was up, and then realized that I had this candy in my hands that I hadn't paid for. I was totally mortified and quickly ran back in to pay for it. Sort of freaked me out how easy it would be.

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  6. Yes, if the miscreants had to perform community service, help build roads, pick up trash, work in community gardens, etc. it WOULD be a good deterrent to crime!! If only....

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  7. Too funny! I think you should send your ideas on to Sheriff Joe. He'll implement them haha

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  8. Sue - I agree. Let's put ex-husbands right in there with convicts. Yours sounds like he should do a five-year stint in chicken coops, followed by some serious cat-bathing.

    Mama Pea - It really IS in how you look at it, isn't it? Sometimes I have to force myself to look on the 'sunnier' side.

    Nancy - Mine will not scratch up their shavings in the coop. They scratch everything else up, though.

    CR - We have been waiting for rain, too. Supposed have had some last night but, nope. Now we are waiting for severe storms. Sigh.

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  9. EcoCatLady - Yark! Although, just for size, I'd rather wash a sprayed cat than a sprayed dog. Our penal (and other) system is totally out of whack. And that does not count as shoplifing -- you have to mean it!

    Candy - Just think of all the things that could get done if criminals had to actively work on making things better. Fresh air and physical labor? Oh, please!

    Petey - Now there is someone with his very own sense of justice.

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  10. ooooh I definitely vote for the untangling poultry netting as punishment, that stuff is AWFUL! I always tell my husband that they should be using that stuff to roll terrorists up in over there, nice non lethal punishment that will give them PTSD and make them behave!

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  11. Erin - We could rule the world with that one!

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