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Monday, July 23, 2012

Monday Musings.

My name is Susan.  And I am a NonGlutetarian. 

I was flummoxed while reading a magazine article wherein the featured reality show panelist declared herself a Pescatarian.  This, I learned upon further reading, is a person who eats plants, dairy, eggs, and fish.  Goodgollymissmolly.  What would we do without labels?  Can we just have a limited diet? Ooooh, nooooooooooo.  We must label it.  Vegetarian.  Vegan.  Omnivore. Herbivore. Localvore.  Dinosaur.  Now Pescatarian??  Of course, this ludicrous thought got me going on how 'they' label fish.  What would you rather eat (especially if you are a sensitive, caring Pescatarian)?  Mozambique Mouth-brooder or Tilapia (which, by the way, is considered an exotic pest in Queensland)?  Antarctic Cod or Patagonian Toothfish?  Whilst rummaging through the frozen seafood section of a local food emporium, I was amazed at all of the 'new' fish available.  It is taking me three times as long, by the way, to do any shopping for seafood (not that I do much - as I am a Borderline Pescatarian) between farm raised, wild caught, endangered species, illegal fishing methods, country of origin with horrendous human rights violations, or some hideous Asian eating (sex aid) craze.  Maybe I should become a Insectatarian.  Heaven only knows, they are gluten-free and I could free range on my garden right now and not have to touch the plant life other than foraging for my creepy-crawly dinner.  Eating is becoming so trendy, it's making me all prickly.  Or maybe that's the humidity.  It's like being in line for a cup of coffee and the guy in front of me, pressed khaki pants pulled up to his armpits, roguish hair cut - tousled just so - raps off his coffee order and it takes over five minutes to get it out.  I swear, I would have liked to have given him a wedgie.  It MUST be the humidity.

Crankypants aside, I am getting better at accepting 'veggies'.  Even if I do still have to say it through slightly-clenched teeth.  I will always have trouble with 'baby' vegetables.  Baby carrots are, most of the time, large carrots that have been cut, ground, trimmed and rounded to appear baby-like.  We used to call them carrot sticks.  That's what we got in our lunches.  In grade school, my lunch was legendary. It consisted of at least four components, all neatly wrapped in waxed paper, always including carrot sticks, placed in a brown paper bag with my name on it.  While most mothers were over the moon with HoHos, Twinkies, and a host of other prepackaged, imitation foods pumped full of processed ingredients, my mother baked her own cookies, baked her own bread, and packed a very balanced lunch.  If I ended up with a meatloaf sandwich, I could trade that baby for a Cadillac, had I been old enough to drive in third grade.  And, I'm sorry to report, I was only too happy to hand over half of my homemade brownie for half of a Twinkie.  Just tell a kid she can't have something, and that's all she wants.  Sigh.  I wish that kid would go away.  She's been hanging around for ages and I can't seem to lose her.

12 comments:

  1. It's the old grass-is-greener thing. My son did nothing but complain about the home-made versions of "fast-food" . Now, living with his "wife"--he'd give ANYTHING for a home-cooked meal. Hahahahhhaha. A mother's revenge.
    :)

    And yes, I hate the fancy versions of everything nowadays. Just order a damn cup of COFFEE and get the heck out of my way!
    :D

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  2. Question: Are you channeling Erma Bombeck?

    Another great post! :o]

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  3. HA! My favorite are the fruitarians, not only do they eat just fruit, but just fruit that has fallen to the ground "of its own accord" so they won't feel the pain of being picked... BAHAHAHAHAHA!

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  4. Sue - Ah, yes, there is NOTHING like homecooking - and a surprising number of women who don't do it.

    Mama Pea - I LOVED Erma Bombeck! I miss her. And Mr. Roberts, too.
    It was a kinder, gentler world.

    Erin - I don't really lump Vegetarians into the out-there groups, as they've been around much longer than the rest of the 'new' labels. But, Fruitarians??? That is a new one on me!

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  5. Sue - Ah, yes, there is NOTHING like homecooking - and a surprising number of women who don't do it.

    Mama Pea - I LOVED Erma Bombeck! I miss her. And Mr. Roberts, too.
    It was a kinder, gentler world.

    Erin - I don't really lump Vegetarians into the out-there groups, as they've been around much longer than the rest of the 'new' labels. But, Fruitarians??? That is a new one on me!

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  6. HAhahahaha!!! Great post! Carrot sticks indeed!! My kiddos will pull a carrot out of the ground and eat it! We home school so we don't have the fast food types at our lunch table. Just old fashioned home cooked food. I do hope they have a love of home food and cooking when they get older.
    I remember trading food with my friends at the lunch table too!

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  7. Pissy-cat-atarians?? I think Paul may be in that group. I'm of the mindset that you should be able to eat whatever you want and avoid what you don't want, but it drives me INsane when you get one of those hoity-toity persons that look down upon you if you're eating a pork chop or something and say, "Oh, no, I could never kill/eat/hurt that steak/fish/fruit". As if they were better. Whatever you think, just stay the hell away from my supper plate....and by the way, if you're not going to eat that pork chop, may I have it??

    I hope that by keeping Rhiannon out of the public school system (yes, we're going to lock her in the house until she's sixteen) that she won't be as pressured into wanting all that garbage-food. Although I can understand; as a kid I remember a girl in our class that would have her Mom bring her McDonald's every Friday for lunch (lucky bitch) and we all just drooled over it. Dang kids! :)

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  8. Fuuny, one of my kids keeps alternatling betwen and vegan and veggie. Her boyfriend told me she's REALLY a "oportunitarian"! I LOVED that, smart kid. I will add- when she was a strict vegan her life-long chronic acne that started when she was 10 (went to docs and used expensive topical meds) totally went away on it's own. The scarring even healed up. Impressive....

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  9. SF - Good kids! I am fond of carrot sticks myself - or whole ones right out of the ground (washed, of course). Yes, they will remember because they will be healthy and happy and have great memories!

    CR - Ack! I THOUGHT Paul was a pissy-cat-atarian! I am all for letting everyone eat whatever they want (except for shark fin soup and anything else that wipes out a species). Hands off my pork chop!

    Nancy - I agree. Eating a mostly vegetable-based diet is WAY healthy. I feel better, look better and it's better for the planet (IMHO). I have gone back and forth most of my life between veg-only and some meat. I'm still not convinced either way.

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  10. First, I would like to say that among vegetarians, a pescatarian is not a recognized thing. That would just be your regular omnivore. Fish, unlike the Catholic church says, is meat. So they are not from our team. I know you hate labels but vegetarian/vegan are important terms since I think it does help other people understand just what you do and dont eat. It also helps us know what to order on a menu. Some people can get very nasty to you if you dont eat meat, so it is best people know where you stand from the get go.

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  11. Jane - I totally agree. As I said in my replies, vegetarian/vegan go way back and define not only an idealism, but is the choice for a healthy diet. I am more irritated by people who feel they have to make themselves a special label. I am still puzzled by why people are nasty to each other because of their diets.

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  12. I used to buy "baby" carrots all the time, very trendy ya' know. That was until I learned how they are "made!" Now, I won't even buy the carrots in the bag, I think they put something on them as they are always kind of slimy. Blech!
    Pescatarian kinda sounds like Presbytarian to me!! LOL!!

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