Self-sufficient. Self-sustaining. I wonder, is sufficient enough? Is sustaining just the minimum? Should we be self-thriving? There are times when I feel that this is all such a struggle, and what is it for in the end? I think that part of the joy for me is the process - the learning of new things; the challenges. Can I stop at the store and buy a bottle of vanilla extract? Of course. But I would rather make my own. A lot of the things I have learned have been out of necessity. I am a one-income family and my time is spread pretty thin. That combination is ripe for self-instruction! I can't call the vet for every injection, so I learned how to do it myself. Clogged drains, rodent problems, plumbing problems, holes in the wall, broken thises and thats, I call me.
I am not a doom-and-gloom, end-of-the-world type. I am ever hopeful. A long time ago, I decided that this type of outlook was way healthier for me and I'm sticking to it. I have gone through a lot to get where I am today, and I would like to think that I am getting close to self-thriving. I would like to think that I am pretty much up to any challenge - because I'm not afraid of failing. Joel Salatin gave a great example in his latest book about a baby just beginning to stand on her own - she struggles up on her own two feet, then teeters and falls back down. Her parents and grandparents cheer her on - they are so proud! Do they say, "Rosemary, if you can't stand up correctly, just go sit down". (I am flagrantly paraphrasing). It seems to me that we all tend to lose our cheering section as we get older. Hell's bells - if you don't have one, create your own cheering section! There is nothing wrong with feeling proud of what you can do, no matter what it is. I don't trail regrets behind me like Marley's chains because I believe that things happen for a reason. Sometimes that reason eludes you for years...other times, it's pretty obvious. If this path I've chosen becomes an onerous and unhappy trek, then I'll stop and reassess. Otherwise, I'm going to enjoy the journey and any twists and turns still left in it.