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Thursday, May 29, 2014

My Peaceable Kingdom. Not.

Borrowing my title from Mama Pea's comment, I live in a not-so-peaceable kingdom.  I am held captive by the goats - any movement from the house, ANY movement, causes bleating from the goats.  This gets the sheep going.  I find myself creeping on tiptoe out of the back door and sidling along the house, hugging the outer walls and woodpile, in order to reach the chickens unseen by sheep or goat.

On the poultry side of the farm, Penelope (Penny the turkey) is chirping forlornly and loudly since she seems to have just noticed that she is a turkey and NOT a chicken and calls for a tom to come save her from this lonesome existence almost incessantly.  This has caused Dotty (Specked Sussex) to get her undies in a twist.  Loudly.  The two Ameracaunas are never silent - they are either carrying on because someone is in "their" nesting box, or The Monster (moi) has entered the coop, or the crows have entered the yard, or a foreign bit of vegetation has blown into the yard.

Bleu has overcome his shyness and crows ever three minutes.  Luckily, he is still not aggressive with the hens.  Unluckily, he still has his cap set for Penny.

There are new neighbors on the road with dogs.  Lots of dogs.  They march their dogs up and down the road in front of the house, which has Scrappy in a frenzy of barking and shoving as many of his toys in his mouth as possible - just in case the interlopers may try to storm the house and take them.  At least they muffle the sound.  As soon as Scrappy barks, Lovey, the back-up band, starts her usual chirping and shrieking (she does not bark like a normal dog - she's 'special'). 

All we need is a full orchestra and a steel drum band.

5 comments:

  1. Oh, you do paint such a good picture! Your shenanigans of trying to make it to the chicken coop without being spotted reminds me of when we had our Bouvier, Max, and I made the mistake of introducing him to potato chips at a young age. That dog could hear the slightest crinkle of the bag which caused him (all 90 lbs. worth) to try to park on my lap so he got his share. For a while there, I took to buying a bag in town and eating my fill before getting home and the waiting chip addict.

    P.S. I think we all want to see/hear a video of Lovey "barking."

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  2. well, if you lived right in the middle of the city like i do, you would have the drunks screaming and the boom boxes in the cars shaking your walls. fortunately, when i am not out front but in my back gardens the noise disappears. the miracle of a mountainside and lots of running water!

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  3. Ahh the noises we like to hear. Where we are renting we have new neighbors....with two dogs they love but don't seem to spend time with. So our new noises are 1: The most incredible point his nose at the moon and die HOWLING off and on all day from the Beagle/Whippet cross Spanky. It so so so sad! 2: A neighbor two houses over and across has a new rooster for his back yard chickens who is just figuring out how to crow....it sounds like he is in a cloths dryer with a sock in his gob....so determined but so awful! 3: Mysterious crashes and thumps from the house next door...I wonder what the two dogs are getting into of if they are crated? 4: The the nice noises from all the birds that come to the feeder and fly about the back yard when we are gardening. 5: Oh I forgot The curious and a bit frustrated meows from our cat who can sit in the bathroom window and watch us garden.
    Good luck with your stealth plans and I so feel for you with your new neighbors.

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  4. It sounds as if I could just ship Pickles up there and you wouldn't even notice. (Hmmmmm....wonders how much it would be to FedEx a goat)

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