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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Whazat???

I was driving over the mountain this morning, when I crested a ridge and was blinded!  Sun!  Holey Mackerel!  I could barely see where I was going, having been reduced to mole-vision by the gloom of the last many weeks.   I groped around for the Beloved Sunglasses and spent the rest of the drive sighing happily, as Vitamin D3 found its way to my inner being.  It made me feel so good, that I only blinked slightly when presented with the total at the pet mart checkout.

Speaking of shopping, the day after Christmas, I pulled on my BGPs (which are looking a bit tattered, I might add), and headed to the closest mall.  I had to get chicken feed, so was going in that general direction.  The reason I was driven to such madness was that I had a gift card for a certain store that was due to expire.  And, being cheap frugal, I was not going to let it go to waste.  I got my 100# of feed, took a deep breath, drove on and circled the mall, looking for a non-packed parking space near the outside entrance.  I was NOT going through the mall.  When I walked in, I almost staggered from the excess in front of me. It hit me that I had not been in a regular clothing/department store for more than 3 years.  All of my clothes and general shopping is done either at thrift stores, online or through the closets of generous friends with great taste (Oh, how I miss you, Sylvie...) 

My goal was to take my $25 gift card and buy a top or two for work.  Oy!  There was an ocean of packed racks everywhere I looked!  Too many colors!  Too much everything!  However, I lucked out and had entered the store right into an area of a designer who had less gaudy stuff.  So I hyperventilated my way around, snatched two sweaters off the first rack I came to and asked a store employee if the sale signs applied to them.  She scanned them and - woot! - 60% off!  I quickly grabbed two more tops and tottered to the checkout.  Along with 40 other women, all of whom had returns.  Oy, OY.  A very attractive young woman from cosmetics sauntered up to our line and offered to check out anyone who was interested.  I was quickly in her perfumey wake and checked out with no problem.  The average price of the four items I bought - before sale - was $49.  After applying my gift card, I only had to pony up $18!  I was so excited.  The lovely young woman gushed, "Oh, you saved ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE DOLLARS!"  To which I replied, "Can you imagine the markup on this stuff?"  She looked at me disapprovingly.  I was clearly not appreciating what Macy's had done for me.  The entire experience took less than 15 minutes, even though it felt like hours and, although I wanted to get a couple pair of knee socks (mine resemble Swiss cheese), the thought of another checkout line did me in.  I fled with my purchases. 

I still need knee socks (yes, I know I knit, but I need these socks THIS winter...) and my BGPs need replacing.  After all of those warnings about the state of your underwear, vis a vis an accident, my mother would be SHOCKED of the sight of mine.  However, I do believe I will be ordering them online.  I don't think my nerves could take another foray into Excessville.  It will take me at least three years to get over it.



11 comments:

  1. Isn't shopping disturbing? Ralph took me to an Ikea when we were dating. Farm girl that I am I had never been to one...about 1/3 of the way through the store I started to feel crowded by the gazillion people ...three feet further along the overwhelming amount of stuff surrounding me and stacked to the ceiling on every floor of this massive store struck me as simply grotesque! I think I had a panic attack from it all. I HAD to get out of there. Poor Ralph was confused...don't women love to shop? Give me a hardware store...a small local grocery or somewhere people know me. I just cannot stand how this society has become so "Stuff" oriented. As to the mark up...when I worked at the Truck top I caught a glimpse of it and it seems to me some of the things we sold were marked up 700 percent!
    Hang in there with your BGP's...I was looking at mine when I hung them out on the line to dry [looking furtively around to see if the neighbors were outside] not a pretty picture!

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    1. Fiona - I am right there with you. When I hang my BGPs on the line, I make sure that towels are hung in front of them - I must protect the sheep from the tattered BGPs...

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  2. You are a brave, brave soul. I pray you don't have to walk through the valley of death again...or at least not alone.

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    1. Carolyn - LOL! Yea, verily! Unfortunately (or fortunately) I don't have any friends who would go with me! Next time, I'll invite you, okay?

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  3. Susan,

    I have to agree with Carolyn with her comment.
    Going to the mall or large department stores drive me crazy, I hate dealing with crowds. The crowds are worse during and around holidays.
    Glad to hear you found a great deal on sweaters and tops.

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    1. Sandy - It would be one thing if the crowds were all composed of happy, polite people. But they are most usually full of angry, stressed, rude people. But now I am just fine with my new stash and won't have to put myself through that for another many years.

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  4. Mole vision?? LOL!! Oh, that's a good one. And unfortunately, what we've all been reduced to. We had one day of sun this past two weeks. It was WONDERFUL.

    I felt your pain. A mall? RIGHT after Christmas??? Dear god. I'd need a beverage after that! Online is my regular mode of shopping. I thank the internet gods for the privilege. Glad you survived. Think of it this way---you're done until someone gives you another gift card. .....though I'd be throwing out hints for an Amazon gift card (or other ONLINE retailer!!!)
    Happy New Year and thanks for another year of many chuckles!

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    1. Sue - Ha! It happened again - I am so used to NOT needing sunglasses, that I was blinded again. The good news is that I am working only a half-day, so there is a very good chance I will be able to experience more than 15 minutes of sun today! YAY! And a very, very Happy New Year to you, Sue. I hope this new one is a year full of only good things for you.

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  5. Socks don't need to be tried on, and I stick to one size and brand of undies and bras. Online is perfect!

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    1. Michelle - I am a Hanes six-pack girl myself. That is what I ordered - TWO six-packs! That should hold me for years!

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  6. I totally feel like that at big box stores! Just get me in and get me out!

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