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Monday, July 30, 2018

There was much heaving and sighing and hyperbole.

On a recommendation that I read on a blog in one of those rabbit-hole-blog moments - you know, when you start at Point A and then, an hour later, are at Point M with no recollection as to how you got there and you can never find it again - I had ordered two books on CD from a thriller series.


Words escape me.  It is possibly one of the most over-wrought-written books I have ever read/heard.  On top of that, the narrator is beyond description.  If he were a woman, I would say there was an almost constant heaving of bosoms.  It really defies description.  I have found myself caught up in the awfulness of it and can't seem to stop listening.  It is 12 discs long.  I did, however, promptly return the second episode without a listen.  I do have my limits, even when it comes to masochism.


Here's what I can tell you -


Someone latched onto the word, "preternatural" for dear life and it has been used WAY too often.  One gets the feeling that certain words catch the fancy of the writers and then are used WAY too often.  Like, "splume" and "nostrum" and "elixir".  During the course of this hot mess, there have been instances of poisoning by nostrum, dirty cops, hallucinations involving lounge chairs, lemonade and volcanic rims, superhuman-women with Victorian sensibilities.  There have been black chemises.  Widespread violence in foreign countries.  There have been exotic flora and fauna.  Fake skeletons, elaborate traps, blow guns with poison darts, whale eyeballs, main characters who seem to be nearing death, only to pop up without explanation in situations that defy logic and, let's not forget, the sweet scent of lilies...


All the male police characters are read with a rather high-pitched nasal voice.  The female characters are all breathy. 


In total, it is a big, hot mess that is rather mesmerizing.  I can hardly wait to see how it ends.  For so many reasons.  I am not revealing the title so that I won't spoil the surprise when you unwittingly check it out of the library, pop the first disc into your CD player and press "Play".

14 comments:

  1. Wonderful! Sounds exactly like the kind of book I would most definitely love to... avoid. I do know what you mean about being caught up in something so bad that you can't just abandon it, though. This one would most definitely affect my Victorian sensibilities. I shall now exit stage left, leaving behind a waft of sweet scented lilies. I need to settle down in my lounge chair, sip a glass of lemonade and enjoy the exotic flora and fauna in my conservatory.
    x

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    1. Don't forget the sneering and scoffing. Both play a very big part in this whole hot mess.

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  2. LOL, I'm sticking with YA fantasy for the most part these days, the heaving, sighing and hyperbole is usually pretty tame. In all honesty, I've listened to quite a few really good books lately. I need to do a book post. The last book had me literally on the edge of my seat multiple times. There I was in bed, hitting the timer for yet another half hour of reading....

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    1. PLEASW do a book post - this one will end (eventually, painfully) and I will be faced with the endless drive without distraction!

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  3. I'm already skimming past the over long descriptions of the 'romance' portions of the Outlander series and I'm only on book 2!

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    1. I have yet to find a romance passage that stirs me in any genre. I believe my age is showing... Do you like the Outlander series? I'm still searching for commuting material.

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  4. Telling me the title would be lost on me as I gave up fiction a couple decades ago.

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    1. The librarian in our local library doesn't read fiction, either. Not necessarily a good trait in a small community library.

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  5. I'm an emerging writer, some fiction, mostly poetry and a very wise professor of mine once said "read everything up high and down low". In other words we can learn something, gain a bit of pleasure, enjoy a few laughs even with those not-so-stellar books. Read on!

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    1. Excellent advice. And congratulations - being a writer is not for the faint-hearted!

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  6. The description is SO SO funny, breathy indeed........

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    1. Annie, even when he introduces a new chapter, it's breathy...

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  7. Don't cha truly wonder how some of these books ever got published? The other thing is the fact that the audio book reader can literally make or break a book. I have my favorite readers and then there are one or two that keep me from even ordering a book I might want to read/hear.

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    1. Exactly. I once listened to a classic that I loved, only to have to cringe through every passage where the female character was read in a high falsetto by an awful reader.

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