The Oddities of Dogs

I will be the first to admit that my dogs are quirky. Most especially, Scrappy. (This is the picture that sold him - the goof. Thanks, Sarah.) And most of his quirks have something to do with food. Smelling food, thinking about food, getting me to give him food, stealing food, dreaming about food, getting anyone else nearby to give him food. You get the idea. He haunts me in the kitchen, although I am a stern food lady and do not feed him from either my counter or my plate. But he is always hopeful and incredibly persistent. This past weekend, I was cutting up mangoes and a piece jumped off my knife. I am sure most people have heard of the 5 second rule - well, it doesn't exist in my house. If it hits the floor, it's chicken food. I live with two dogs and two cats in the country with mice. Nuff said. It's a rare piece of anything that hits the floor, though. Scrappy can home-in on a morsel mid-air like a highly developed missile-tracking device. That bit of mango never had a chance. And then there was the fun of watching him discovering that it was something foreign - something he'd never had before. I doubt if I could describe the many expressions that passed over my pooch's face as he - loathe to give it up - contemplated the mango while rolling it around in his mouth. Suffice it to say, he isn't called 'Bert Lahr in a Dog Suit' for nothing. In the end, he decided he liked it. Fast-forward a day to when I am cleaning a sinkful of ramps. One slippery devil made the plunge and again, like greased lightening, Scrappy was on it. Ramps, he discovered, are not mangoes and after he spit it out, he went looking for toothpaste and dental floss.
Bernie, on the other hand, is waaaaay more subtle. She seems bored, above it all. Then you turn your back and she tiptoes in, stands up to the counter and removes whatever has been foolishly left within reach - plate and all. It's almost unnerving.
I am now waiting for the results of the latest food incident - a mostly-full bag of beggin strips, those grossly artificial non-bacon things that were the worst impulse purchase I have ever made. I neglected to stow the bag and (gasp) left the house. I returned to an odd, chemical-bacon-like smell wafting about and two dogs who would not look me in the eye. It is never boring in our house.