Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Single Homesteader.

I have been running across a lot more postings by single female homesteaders who are searching for a partner with a new sense of urgency.  I have been there, sisters, I have been there.  Speaking strictly for myself, my sense of urgency seems to grow in direct correlation to my sense of weariness.  Or when winter starts to raise it's hoary head.  Most women I know who have the gumption to whack out a farming life on their own, are strong women.  With strong personalities and a strong sense of self.  But, even the strongest of us -- when faced with acres of rocky, overgrown land that needs clearing and fencing, or when the sheep/cattle/goats/horses have torn down that same section of fence that was just fixed for the hundredth time and are are in the middle of the road -- will cry "Enough Already!" and feel like we can't do it alone any longer.
     While I haven't given up the search for a help/soul/mate, I've learned to take a deep breath, step back and ease up.  Past experience has shown me that when I act blindly, I am indeed blind to all the red flags and sirens that go off around me, and I end up in an unhappy relationship.  I am glad I have gotten (a little) smarter as I have gotten older.  I am also lucky that I can turn to friends to help with that rocky, overgrown piece of land.  It's a tough row to hoe, but I do believe there is someone out there for every one of us - you just need that magical combination of right time, right place, right guy, Moon in Capricorn, crows in the pine trees.   Remember that you want someone to share this (mostly) wonderful farming life with you.  If you love your life, that love will shine through to someone who will not only share the hardships with you, but who will get to share in the love as well.  Just my two cents.


  1. Beautiful sentiment! I need to remember that! My father has a phrase for that that I had forgotten; "when all the red flags start to look like tulips."

    The picture you posted here - that's from one of my very favorite childhood books!

  2. And if he ain't worthy of you, he'll miss out on it all. Too bad for him. His loss!

    Very well said, Susan.

  3. I love that saying, Jordan! I'll have to remember to check for tulips the next time I find myself ignoring my red alerts!

    You are too sweet, Mama Pea. I hope I can find someone half as nice as your hubby!

  4. When I first met my husband I took him to a friends house to have her check him out. I had my share of picking the wrong guys. I needed a second opinion. She gave me the thumbs up and we've been together for 20 years now married for 15.

  5. Susan, what a wise woman you are! :-) If only we older single homesteaders lived closer together. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a commune-sort of land with strong women to tend it together? Just discovered your blog today, and am looking forward to reading more.

  6. Judy - I think the "Friend Filter" is a great idea; especially if your friend will give it to you straight. I would definitely run any fella in the running through my present friend filter!

    Laura, what a great idea? But then we'd have to take over the world and set things in order ;0) Hey - how bad could that be?