Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dipping my toes into Deep Thinking.

I am not what you would call an Intellectual.  I have the focus of a two-year-old and age hasn't lengthened it.  I tend to be more of an 'emotional thinker', as I call it.  That means, basically, that when I am for something, I am all-out-whole-hog-get-outta-my-way for it.  I hold certain views very passionately, but most things do not hold my focus long enough for me to sink my teeth into them, so to speak.

So, when something knocks me off my feet and makes me stop in my tracks and want to ponder, I pay attention.  This happened last night when I arrived home to find that my dear friend, Els (in Holland), had sent me a birthday present.  Because of the distance and mailing costs, we are always challenged to find something meaningful but mail-able.  She had sent me music.  Divenire by Ludovico Einaudi.  I popped it into my stereo, and scuttled off to the kitchen to make pie dough.  The music started and I stopped.  I stopped what I was doing and went into the living room and sat down and listened.  And wept.  Because there was something so deeply moving about this music that it seemed to call up a longing from someplace long ago and deep inside.  It wasn't actually sad, it was just....well, it was just an exquisite longing.  And that made me sit and think about music in general, and how sound can reach us the way words cannot.  And then I thought about how amazing it was that she had found this and thought of me.  And then I thought about how much music there is that I will never hear.  Of course, then my polliwog brain started jumping to how many books there are that I will never read, and how many birds I will never see or hear.  I put the brakes on at that point because it was becoming 'unnecessary thinking'.

The point to all of this - if there is one - is that it continually amazes me how deep connections run.  There is music to connect us to that deep well of longing/happiness/sadness; there are good friends who bring us special joy; there is the blogosphere that connects those of us so far apart, yet so much alike.  Sometimes, before it completely overwhelms me and I have to look away, I get this glimpse of how enormous and utterly breathtaking is the reach of life on this planet and in this universe.  This is a deep pool of thought that I will be dipping into often in my quest for a kinder, gentler me.


  1. The first thing that comes to mind when I read this is my connections that come through scent. When I smell White Shoulders perfume, I look around for my grandma. A sweeter woman you've never met, and that smell just brings her rushing right back to me. I tear up just thinking about it. Fresh baked cookies brings memories of youth, fresh cut grass makes me feel young and full of hope and energy, fresh dirt brings me promise, and there are so many more. Thanks for the reminders...

  2. Whoa! There is more to life than that which we can grasp in our hands, isn't there? We have spirits, we have souls. We are so much more than our physical bodies. What wonderful moments when we experience such as what the music brought to you last night.

    Thanks from me, too, for saying it so well.

  3. HJ&F - I feel the same way about cut grass and hay and newly dug dirt. It just makes you feel so alive and thankful you are!

    Mama Pea - That is exactly it. Whoa! It can outright knock you flat if you try to wrap your mind around it.

  4. How wonderful that your listening ears and your listening soul connected. Bravo, Susan! You are being kinder for certain!

  5. I HAVE THAT ALBUM! Well, actually, it is one of the half-handful of things I've actually downloaded into iTunes, and I know just what you mean about how arresting it is. Now I'm off to start it playing on my laptop; it's been too long!

  6. Thanks for sharing that, I too have moments where I will stop and see or hear or smell something and it brings such emotions and memories to the surface that I have to just "stop" as you say, and give in to it.

  7. APG - I love how you put that!

    Michelle - see what I mean about connections?

    Erin - I am waiting for spring, when I can go outside and flop down in the grass. I LOVE that feeling.