Pages

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mud wrestling. Without the mud.

Ten years ago, if someone had said to me that trying to wrestle down a fat little lamb would be just another part of my day, I would have snorted my coffee.  The wrong way.  Yet, last night, after my hour commute home in the gloaming light, feeding the dogs, finding my measly egg (as in singular - what the heck are the chickens doing all day?), I girded myself with a canister of anti-lice powder, a coffee can of shepherd's mix and a half bale of hay, and sauntered down to the sheep paddock.  I swear that sheep are like cats - they can read my body language as easily as I can read a map.  Hmm.  Maybe that's not a good analogy.  As easily as I can down a bag of Cape Cod 40% Less Fat Potato Chips.

These are the times when I am glad there are no witnesses - human, that is.  I had the can of feed in one hand and the powder canister shoved in the waistband of my jeans, so that I had a free hand to unlatch my convoluted gate system.  The object of my powdering - Banyan, son of Coco(nut) the Crazy - was already giving me the hairy eyeball.  He used to be such a sweetie-pie.  But, then came the wethering process.  I think that pushed him over the edge, into the crazy genetic soup of his likewise wacky mother.  I did manage to go through my equally convoluted feeding process without raising his suspicions and, while his head was down, I grabbed his rear leg.  What then ensued was a wild, writhing, bucking, wiggling ten minutes until I managed to also get hold of his opposite front leg and pin him to the ground in a full Nelson.  Keep in mind that I am four times (or more) as big as he is.  In the end, we were both panting and I had gotten as much of an anti-lice dousing on me as I had on him.  Maybe more.  After we both recovered, I stood him back up on his little sheep legs and off he tottered to tell Maaaaama all about it.

I went inside, made a cup of lemongrass ginger tea and took a shower.  The end.

13 comments:

  1. Me Goat & you Sheep Wrestling...... who would'a thunk it? At least your guy doesn't piss all over his face....right? Which makes me think of a farming question....doe Rams get all stinky like bucks do in rut?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, HOW I wish I could have actually seen that wrestling match! ('Course, I have the definite feeling I would not have been able to stand back and simply watch. I would most likely have been cajoled into the the fray and obtained a good louse dusting also.) The least you could have done was invited a friend over to video that adventure. I'm giggling thinking of what that would have looked like.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Carolyn - Oh, give me a ram over a buck any day! Boy, that sounds odd, doesn't it? Makes me sound like a cheap masochist. No, rams just curl their top lips up and look stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mama Pea - Oh, HOW I wish you COULD have been there! I will tell you that the air over my head was definitely "blue".

    ReplyDelete
  5. It always amazes me just how strong those little critters are when they DON'T want to do something! :-O

    ReplyDelete
  6. Candy - And it sure didn't help that he was just shorn, so there was nothing to grab onto but those little kicking legs!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well the good news is that you will not be getting lice anytime soon. And now that the word is out on the farm that Susan has a mean smack down, I bet those chickens get their act in gear too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jane - Are you kidding? You could hear them cackling into the next county. I get no respect.

    ReplyDelete
  9. wow -I'm greener than the green hornet when it comes to animals-I did one good deed tho-I found Echo-our next door neighbors dog-they wee out driving looking for him-I knew he would come home he hardly ever leaves,he;s such a good dog and those 2 would have been beside themselves if anything had happened to him-he isn't there only child they have cat too-but echo thinks he's human [ so does mom and dad ] and cat thinks he is a dog

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ha-ha I'm with Jane -- at least you're de-loused for the year too! Great writing. I chuckled through the whole thng :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Susan, you and Banyan just teleport yourselves out here and you can do it again WITH mud! ;-)

    Oh, and sheep ARE just like cats in so many ways. It is the best way I've found to describe sheep to the uninitiated so they "get it."

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, this sounds like good times to me! Wish I lived closer, I'd rather delice and wrestle sheep any day than pick up after the kids LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Judy - I tend to think the same way about my dogs (and cats). And chickens and ducks and sheep and...

    Dr Momi - I feel sooooo much better knowing that I won't spread the little buggers.

    Michelle - That is so nice of you - but I think I'll skip the mud. We're due for a few days of rain, so I might have my own. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks sheep/cats are on the same wave length.

    Erin - Girlfriend, you just come right up here. Bring the boys - they can help rassle!

    ReplyDelete