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Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Hugger or Non-Hugger?


My parents were not physically demonstrative when I was a kid.  Nor when I was a teenager - which, quite frankly, I totally get, as I was not lovable as a teenager.  I was a total pain in the beehind.  This makes me wonder why I am such a complete and utter hugger.  Maybe it was because of the Rosarios, a classmate's Italian family that forced you to be buffeted through a chorus line of hugs and kisses both coming in and going out of their front door (and again, at random, while in their house).  As a child, it was both terrifying and thrilling.  There was a whole lotta demonstrative-ness in that house.

I have developed into a serial hugger.  It makes no difference whether you are the huggable type or not.  Of course, should someone screech and jump back as I approach, I will pick up on that and desist.  Reluctantly.  A relatively new friend is rather stiff and formal and, initially, took my hugs as an assault.  I am chipping away the aloof exterior, one hug at a time.  I noticed this weekend that she was not as ramrod stiff as she usually is, sagging slightly in my grasp.  It could, I suppose, been out of sheer terror.  :)

I remember my BIL giving my dad a huge hug.  Lawsy, I wish I had had a camera at that moment.  My father, stiff as a board, in the embrace of his SIL, rapidly patting him on the shoulder while his eyes darted from side to side, seeking an avenue of escape.

Before you think I am some sappy nutjob who flings herself on everyone she meets, hugging her way through the crowd, this is not the case.  There are definitely some people upon whom I would not bestow a hug.  Politicians, for instance.  Most of the people on my street.  No one in my office.  No one in my office building.  Law enforcement officers.  People who mistreat animals, children and senior citizens.

Everyone else?  Brace yourself.

What say you?  Hugger or Non?

38 comments:

  1. Why no senior citizens? They love them but always ask first and be gentle:) I, as you have probably noticed, am a hugger be that virtually and in person. Never a politician that would be silly but..... maybe that is what they need but watch your back :):) Hug B

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    1. Buttons - Oh, I hug the bejeebers out of senior citizens! Just not anyone who mistreats them in any way.

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  2. Never ever was a hugger until middle age.
    My parents were both quite "distant"--and talking with my hubby who is also German, he said his parents never showed affection either.
    Lest that sound like a miserable childhood, we knew we were loved, it's just not a very German thing , ya know?
    But, like I said, I am huggable now---with the right people.
    And I always made sure my son got plenty growing up---even when he was VERY un-huggable. Heck, I guess that's really when they need hugs the most!
    Have a great day. And hugs to you!

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    1. Sue - My mom is from good, Germanic stock, too. I think we should all go to Germany and hug every one of them! Same here - no hugging, but we were safe and warm and well-fed. Hugging is nice!

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  3. Hi I'm new and I think your blog is great. Its like were the mirror image of one another, except you farm on a bigger scale. I never use to hug and hated being hugged when I was younger. Now, I hug family and friends on a regular. In fact I don't even greet them with a hi, I just hhhuuuggg!

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    1. Hi, Theresa and thank you! Good for you! Always lead with a hug! It catches them off-guard.

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  4. i do hug though it is not my natural inclination!

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    1. Jaz, are you a self-defense hugger? :)

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  5. Distant family.....happy but just not hugging people. I used to use the formal hand shake! However I have always hugged cows, dogs and horses, now I hug Ralph whenever I can and I am getting better at hugging dear friends. There is hope.....

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    1. Fiona - Scrappy lets me hug him all the time. Lovey and Pepper are suspicious. My sheep (except for Norman) love hugs. Even Jasmine, my cow, will let me hug her big head. HUGS!!!

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    2. Maybe we should have National Hug a Critter day?

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  6. I come from a family of serial huggers. When all the aunts got together, the kids had to run for their lives or be hugged nearly to death. I still spend a lot of time hugging kids, in-laws, grandkids and anyone else I can get close enough to. Can't help it. It's in the genes.

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  7. I came late to hugging and like all converts I'm a bit of a pest now.

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    1. Susan - LOL! That's so true, isn't it?

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  8. I'm somewhere in between. I'm guilty of not wanting to make others uncomfortable but sometimes....the urge overcomes my cares and I hug away anyway.

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    1. FF - I think I'd approach someone who was stiff as a board with caution, but I'd approach anyway.

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  9. I'm a hugger. Lots of people get that "deer in the headlights" look when they see me coming. Ah well...

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  10. Susan,

    I'm a a hugger as well. Except for my husbands EX=Spouse!!!

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    1. Sandy - Oh, yes. She would definitely be on the "No Hugging" list...

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  11. My family were not huggers. My Hubby's family is. You adjust.

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    1. Gail - It's all about compromise, isn't it?

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  12. I'm a major hugger as well. I love a big hug from most anyone I know. Side hugs are most worrisome for me. I've started NOT hugging some cousins who 'side hug'.

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    1. DFW - Oooh. Side hugs sound awkward at best. If you're going to hug someone, hug them, for Pete's sake!

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  13. I'm a hugger; grew up in a hugging family – a BEAR-hugging family, since my mom grew up in Ketchikan, Alaska. One of my best friends isn't a hugger, but over the 25 years we've known each other, she has definitely thawed, so keep on hugging!

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    1. Michelle - LOL! I don't know of anyone who can resist a hug after a while. And if they can, well....

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  14. Hugs are good stuff!! Only met one person myself who doesn't like hugs at all. Strange, but she's a nice lady.

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    1. FFG - Maybe she had a bad hug in her formative years...?

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  15. Sheer terror? You are a hoot! Some of my kids let me hug them, but some run from me, ha ha!

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    1. Kristina - Teenagers are a tough crowd. My nephew sometimes gets a terrified look when I start moving towards him. I am assuming it's the oncoming hug...

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  16. this is my first time commenting on your blog...i've been sneaking in from time to time from jaz's blog. i really like what you are doing here...would you like to exchange links?

    i really liked this post as i am a big hugger and the people in my new community (been here 5 yrs) are not huggers. so at any community event or dance, my hubby and i go around hugging everyone but no one else hugs anyone else. they think we are crazy hippies or something but we don't care! there's only 60 people in our 2 communities so there is definitely enough time to hug everyone!

    i'm glad that most of the commenters, some of whom i know from their blogs, and some of whom are good internet buddies (Sandy and DFW) admit to their hugging as well.

    ok...i'm blathering now. long day. teehee.

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    1. Hi, Kymber! Ditto here...we seem to be a very huggable bunch.

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    2. i'm putting you in right now!

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  17. I'm a hugger once I know people well, and any animal right away!

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  18. Since people are all so different, I just wait to see what the other will do and then hug back! If I think someone truly needs a hug, then they get one anyway.

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  19. I love hugging but pretty much keep it in the family!

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