I seem to be wrapped up in knitting musings recently - such as, why is it that I think that the Broken Rib Pattern is knitting one should do while convalescing? Couldn't they just as easily have called it - Non-Conformist's Rib or Slightly Off Rib? And how telling it is to go through my (frighteningly large) stash of yarn! You think platform shoes were something? How about that period where everyone and their Aunt Nettie were knitting those long, loose scarves, using ribbon, mohair, cat hair, sparkles - anything that would wind around needles the size of tail pipes? When every vertical space in every craft fair across the country was festooned with these wild accent pieces? I was as guilty as the rest - whipping those babies out on an average of one a day. I inflicted them upon every friend and family member at least once. Geez.
It's funny when you make a slip of the tongue - and this falls into the "out of the mouths of babes" department. I used to date a fellow way back in the dark ages who had a young son. He was the first single father I had ever met. His son, K, used to refer to woodchucks as "ground chucks". It was very cute. Now that I have a garden, I think he was spot-on. Ground chuck indeed. He also used to belt me in the shoulder every time he spied a VW Beetle. And, unfortunately, they were a hot item back then. Not so cute.
Why is it a "pair of pants"? I mean, it is one garment. But it sounds odd when you try to make it single. I just put on my pant. Makes you think of a hot dog in summer. And using another term doesn't make it sound any better - I am wearing my "slack". Unfortunately, I always wear my slack. Gravity has struck! Could it be changed to: "I am wearing my panting"? "My slacking"? How about a description based on closures: I am wearing my elastics. I am wearing my snap-fronts. I will just pull on my zip-ups. Hey - I am making it plural again! It's hard to change something that's been set in stone. I guess I will continue to pull on my zip-up pants in the summer, and slip into my elastic slacks in the winter.
Speaking of platform shoes (hold onto your horses, kids - it's Fogey Time), my absolute favorite shoes of all time - and that's saying something, although I hold boots in esteem in their own category - were a pair of platform shoes right out of Disco-rama, before Disco-rama. And I don't want to hear from any of you young whippersnappers asking what Disco was. They had almost fluorescent pink rubber platforms and heels with silver sparkly things mixed in. They had to be a good 2-2.5 inches high. The body of the shoe was in a Mary Jane style, in a stiff linen-like fabric with a wild floral design. Oh, baby, these were smokin' shoes! And I used to wear them with hot pants. Oh, yeah. Of course, the idea, now, of me in hot pants would make me run for the Pepto-Bismol. The real question here is, though, would I pull on my zip-up hot pants? It wouldn't do to slip into my elastic hot slacks, would it? Come to think of it, that would be rather nice in the winter.