Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday Musings.

Recently, I've been musing about trust.  I am trying to decide whether I am naturally distrustful, or only incapable of delegating.  Are the two any different, really?  Since we are told by the Nobs that all of our fears, weaknesses and strengths, too, are learned from birth-on, I've also been trying to find a reason for it.  This has brought up some interesting memories.  Yes -- here we go, back to childhood!  Which, alarmingly, is causing me to have to travel further and further back!

While most of my friends went to various camps during the summer, I went to northern Ontario, Canada, for my two weeks of Childhood Heaven.  Except for one year.  I don't remember the circumstances, and I may have gone to camp AND Heaven in the same year, but I went to an overnight camp for one week the summer I was 12 .  It was a very big deal.  I packed carefully, making sure to include my precious collection of plastic molded horses.  This collection was my prized possession - especially the rearing Palomino.  Those were the beginnings of my Cowgirl Days.  If I had to describe myself as a child, I would say that I was melodramatic, overly sensitive, stubborn, shy, and romantic, in a very child-like way.  I was also bossy, and prone to tantrums.  Geez, what a mess - no wonder my mother warned me about children like me.  If that makes any sense.

Back to camp.  So, there I was in my cabin with my camp-mates, of whom I remember almost nothing.  I remember weaving the obligatory bracelet, the emotionally-charged atmosphere of a cabin full of 12 year-old girls, playing by myself with my horses outside the cabin, but I especially remember the counselors.  Our cabin's counselor was named Amy.  I adored her.  I worshipped her.  She would have been in her early twenties.  She was tall, blond, tanned, and part of some wacky group within the counselors that believed they would be contacted by aliens and beamed up to a better life on a certain night due to fall on the night before the last day of camp.  Can I pick them?  Whether this was true or just a large hoax played on a bunch of het-up little girls, I don't know.  All I can tell you is that most of my camp experience was wrought with anxiety that my favorite counselor would be beamed up by a bunch of bug-eyed, green-skinned aliens and whisked away forever.  On that specified night they did all disappear.  But they were back in the morning.  My read today?  They were whisked away over the lake to the boys' camp counselors for a night of non-alien romping.  But it jarred me completely.  My worry for her had been so real - so purple-prosey-sopped in anxiety.  And then there she was, the morning after B(eam) U(p) Day -- over it, moving ahead, on her way to better things than soppy little girls.  Ouch. 

I am starting to hyperventilate just thinking about it.  Darn counselor girl.  As Monty Python so aptly put it (and as I  probably paraphrase), "And now for something totally different".  Let's talk about the necessity of "CUTE ALERTS".  Or "Cute Ratings".  I have had the occasional start, when opening a post or an email, there, without warning, was something so cute it made my eyes pucker.  But this is so painfully cute that it almost hurts to look at.  It should be illegal.  Don't say you weren't warned:

Baby Mini Pig
I want 20 of them.  I would give this tiny, fuzzy, morsel of cuteness a 25 on the Cuteness Rating Scale of 1 to 10.  Wouldn't you?


  1. Somebody would be a BILLIONAIRE if they could invent a pig that STAYED just like that forever. I would gladly fork out big money for cuteness like that!

  2. I'm with Sue...if only they STAYED like that. (Don't go spoiling my love affair with pork...)

    I don't think the counselors joke led to your need to do everything yourself (inability to delegate) or your distrust of people (you claim to have). Rather, I think it shook up your (romantic) notion that everyone stays the same and will never leave your world/circle. Resulting in your need to keep most friends at arms length, lest they pull the same trick and leave.

    Sorry, your stuck with me.

  3. This adds to the question I have been pondering of late ... Do our memories define us?

  4. Do our memories define us? A big fat YES! Unfortunately, that ain't necessarily always a good thing. Supposedly when we grow up and become rational, sensible people we should be able to shed the bad memories and keep only the good ones. (Oh my, much too psychoanalyzing for this time of morning.)

    I think Amy and the other counselors intentionally pulled a not-very-nice trick on you kiddie campers. It may have been funny to them, but not to the forming little psyches of 12 year old girls. Could be I'm looking at this too seriously but I well remember that period in the '50s where there was a lot of talk about aliens landing on earth and it scared me to bejeezus!

  5. I think my Mother had a very similar experience when she found out Santa was not real. Hence, she never let us believe in Santa so we would not have to face that disappointment. I have to say, I much rather would have had the disappointment if it meant I was able to have those periods bliss when I truly could 'believe' in something. So now I dont believe anything, see it works both ways.

    Now as for that picture, you KNOW I want a few mini pigs and the stinking Husband says no. SO I am going to put pictures of hot, fresh, yummy bread on my blog just to torture you :P

  6. Although I enjoyed your musings from today, there is just no way I can intellectually comment on that this "early" in the morning....too deep. :)

    My brain is only in the "Wow, that pig sure is cute!" mode right at the moment. Although I suppose that ain't all bad.

  7. Sue - True! I was going to add, "and kittens would stay kittens", but then I remembered the Boyz as kittens and changed my mind.

    Dr. Melanie - OMG! Are my friends leaving??? Heehee. I don't mind being stuck with you at all...

    Sylvie - Yes, I think they do, to a degree. However, I believe some people hang onto their memories and WANT to be defined by them, while others break out and define themselves as they live.

    Mama Pea - I tell you, some memories are like cement slippers, aren't they? I'll have to google that cult - they were pretty convincing.

  8. Jane - Nyah, nyah! I suggest you take that picture and tack it up in strategic places around the house. Time to melt that Ice Man! I am not able to comment on your blog - otherwise I would whine about your bread posts. Just know that I AM whining about your bread posts.

    CR - The Pig is important. Don't you think Rhiannon needs one?

  9. Oh my I do not want to trigger childhood memories. BUT my eyes did pucker from raw cuteness extreme with that little porker ;-)

  10. My mom used to always tell me "I hope you have SEVEN children and they are all JUST LIKE YOU!!"
    The mini pig is about a 25 on the cuteness scale and yep, Rhiannon probably needs one! ;-)

  11. Had to come back to take another look at that picture it's so darned cute. Oh, and BTW.....
    You're lucky that Rhiannon can't read, so stop it! Though "she" is technically "getting" a pig this spring, but it's going to become BACON! Although honestly, she likes bacon so much that I don't think she'd mind what happens to it after it looses the "OMG is that cute" stage!

  12. Nancy - It seems the older I get, the easier it is to trigger memories. At this point, I'm just happy I can remember ANYTHING!

    Candy - Wow! Your mom was tough - can you imagine? I shudder at the thought of seven just like me...

    CR - Listen, a couple tiny little mini pigs and your whole family would head for the vegetables! Think of all that money you would save NOT buying bacon!

  13. Am I the only one seeing a little "creepy factor" in that pig? LOL it looks like a pencil eraser/topper thing! :)

  14. Sue,
    Where did you get a Baby Picture of me from? And yes I'm still that cute!
    Altho, I'm a little older now and have a little Beer Gut, The girls still Love me!

  15. Oh, how the comments have gone south........
    (We'd better stop now or Susan WILL start moderating our comments!)

  16. CR & Tom - Too late! Both of you - go to your rooms! LOL

  17. AW, Come on, can't we play a little longer??