Friday, January 20, 2012

Winter Olympics - Homestead-Style!

I tell you, those athletes could learn a few things from Homesteaders!  I found myself participating in quite a few winter Olympic-style sports this week:

The Giant Slalom - gracefully and flexibly (oh, so NOT), I schussed myself in my big mucka boots around hillocks of ice and snow to get down the driveway to the mailbox and back without planting myself.

The Luge - this was a particularly complicated sport - it involved using both my plastic hay luge and my fanny luge.  It was made even more exciting by using both at once!  I always yell, "Bonzai!" just to entertain the sheep - and alert them to move back from the fence - Momma's comin' and she can't stop!

Speed Skating - without skates!  On the homestead, one doesn't need skates for this sport - not this winter.  Every surface, flat, sloping or otherwise is a sheet of multi-layered ice, glazed and wind-blasted to a deadly sheen.  I dare Apolo Ohno to deliver hay AND feed down the hill to my sheep without losing it.  I Double Dog Dare him!!

So far, this has been the iciest winter I can remember in a while.  It's all this yoyo-ing back and forth between 40s and rain and subzero and wind, with some snow sprinkled around.  No sissies need apply for Northern Homesteading, that's for sure! 

A sport that is not part of the Winter Olympics but should be?  Night Sheet Ice Walking without the Benefit of Light.  However, I am sure that I do not exactly cut a lissome figure as I juggle mail, bags and purse from my driveway to my front door these nights.  I wonder if Spandex would help....ACK!


  1. Well, come out to Oregon and we'll brush you up on some of your SUMMER Olympics skills - like SWIMMING!

  2. Michelle - I just left YOU a comment! Did the Summer Olympics this past year - swimming, diving, gurgling. Keep your head above water out there!

  3. Oh my gosh, what a mess! Couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of some of your "events" though! Be careful out there and stay warm!

  4. Your life (and our lives!) must be so much better because of your sense of humor! You're amazing!

    Would Spandex help? Probably wouldn't improve your performance but if it were brightly colored and spah-kly enough, it would be easier for rescuers to spot you prone at the end of your luge run.

    Seriously, DO please be careful. It's dangerous out there!

  5. Candy - I have a wide assortment of Olympic-style accoutrements - Yak Traks, ice picks, etc. Given that no one wants my job, I am very, very careful!

    Mama Pea - Where would we be without our senses of humor? Perish the thought. I was thinking that I could rig up a set of fire engine red spandex with spangles and flares sewn into the sides. That way I could either attract the attention of passersby or the Space Station!

  6. I swear, I don't know how you Northerners do it. Although, I'd pay five bucks to see a video of all that! But only if you wear the colorful spandex like MamaPea suggested.

  7. Yes but did you take silver or gold in those competitions? You may just get your picture on the wheaties box if you got the gold! And that would be one box I would buy.

  8. I am laughing here (sorry) because I was visualizing your farm Olympics. I should send you my elastic tracs to slip over your boots to grip the ice an snow. Pulleys and chair lifts are needed on the farm eh? Be careful and spandex? Well maybe long johns and ah snowsuit! Take care! Now how about a video????

  9. CR - Just grit and determination, is all. And the cold tends to numb your brain pan, which helps. Me, ice, spandex - makes me glad I live alone!

    Jane - I took the gold, girl! Sorry I haven't been able to comment on your blog - uber frustrating.

    Nancy - I have those tracs, too. Couldn't make it up or down without them. I love the idea of a chair lift! That would be one viral video, I'll tell you.

  10. White spandex pants with a silver stripe down the side would look really nice with your orange coat :)

    I have no frame of reference for the typical mid-Michigan winter but ours has been a lot like you describe as well - single digit temps this week with a layer of squeaky crunchy snow to hide the layers of ice but by Monday they predict 40F and rain. Yuck.

  11. I hope you were going downhill behind the hay luge and not in front of it. Take care, don't think any one of can afford to get hurt, who would take care of all these critters. Finally got a little rain last night supposed to clear later this afternoon, another storm tomorrow night. Now maybe I can watch the grass grow again.

  12. I too, want to see Apolo speed skate his way through your chores, and you HAVE to post pics.... LOTS of Apolo pics LOL!!!!!