Pages

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Beauty Secrets from the Farm.

Long for the look of bee-stung lips?  Want to see stars?  Think you have to go to Hollywood for both?  Think again.  Here's how you can achieve those Julia Roberts lips without a trip to the plastic surgeon. 

Take one large hen turkey - approximately 13 pounds, give or take.  Add a closed-in space, roughly the size of a chicken coop.  Wear no protective gear, other than a pair of gardening gloves.  Make a lunge for the turkey at precisely the same time she heads north (this is very important).

Voila!  An upper lip the size of a small peninsula and an entire galaxy of stars.  Botox my hiney.

I decided to save us all the pain of viewing that selfie, and will leave you with this thing of beauty instead (I did promise a daily photo - but I didn't promise it would be a GOOD daily photo):


Notice the professional way
I place my shadow right across the main
image?  Ansel Adams, eat your heart out.


I finally managed to find a hanging plant that meets all my (rigid) criteria:  beauty and sustainability and function and drought resistance.  A small local grower had this lovely strawberry plant with beautiful dark pink flowers - which evolve into luscious berries.

15 comments:

Sue said...

So sorry about the lip. Ah, you fashion gals!!-LOL
Personally, it's probably SAFER way of getting puffy lips, versus injecting some horrible thing in. Heal fast!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

what do you do for age spots?

Carolyn said...

Ouch. How did the hen turkey fare the collision? And exactly why were you sneaking up on her, hmmmm?

Never saw pink flowers on a strawberry plant, very pretty!

Kelly said...

What a neat plant. Our strawberry flowers white. I love edible pretties :))))
Sorry about the lip

Mama Pea said...

I can just see the looks you must be getting at work when you try to explain that the turkey did it. ("What? That doesn't happen to everybody?")

Will your strawberries with the red flowers be normal colored? I just saw an ad for an all-white strawberry with red seeds covering the outside. Most unappetizing thing I've seen in ages. Looked like a regular strawberry gone terribly wrong.

Susan said...

Sue - And, if you don't like the look (can you imagine?), it goes away! Eventually...

Susan said...

Jaz - I celebrate each and every one with a nice glass of wine. I'm up to a bottle a day... :) Seriously, I use lemon juice or just ignore them and hope they'll run together and give me a good, all-season tan.

Susan said...

Carolyn - I was actually about to do something very nice for her, ungrateful bird. She is now living with another turkey under the watchful (and adorable) eye of a 9 y/o 4Her. She came out unscathed, of course.

Susan said...

Kelly - I am thinking about bringing it in over the winter and seeing if I can keep it going. I'll have to do some research.

Susan said...

Mama Pea - It's a sad commentary when they hardly even blink an eye on Mondays. It's even sadder when I can barely blink my eye. Yes, the strawberries are red - small and sweet. Ack! White with red seeds? How gawdawful!

Fiona said...

Oh you poor thing.....by the way....a pot dropped in muddy water can render a very nice clay facial treatment ....quite spa like! [Ralph is still chuckling over that accident and I am still not sure if it was an accident....hhmmmn]
As to a nice hanging plant see if you can find Orange mint. The one Ralph and I got at Southern States is going crazy and has nice tendrils draped all down the side of the 5 gallon bucket we potted it in. Hang in there with the joys of farming!

Michelle said...

Ouch! From what I've heard of turkeys, a full football uniform is recommending for handling them. Apparently you didn't get that memo!

Unknown said...

Owie! Love the baskets, I keep thinking I need to find a spot for some. Hanging is a great idea, better soil control for the berries...

Buttons Thoughts said...

Yikes hope it does not hurt as much as I am imagining. Love your photos, Ansel yes indeed. Hug B

Pioneer Woman at Heart said...

Oh man, I bet that hurt. We've seen strawberry pots like that here too. Neat!