There are times when I feel myself all pinched up. There's stress, of course. Then there's just me. Slightly obsessive/compulsive, slightly paranoid, slightly giddy, completely guilt-ridden (hold-over from childhood - one of those hold-overs that stick to you like Velcro), total worry-wort. I usually notice the squeeze while I'm driving along the plateau road, on my way home. I will glance down at my dashboard and notice the "Breathe" note that I have taped to it. Then I realize I am hardly breathing. I mean, really, truly breathing. Nice, big inhales/exhales. Not that one should necessarily go around like a full-blown accordion.
When this feeling hits me, I have taken to mentally opening up to the Universe. Just opening everything - mind, heart, breath. It is an amazing feeling. A wonderful feeling. It doesn't last as long as I would like, but I love every second of it. This is quite a reach for me, as I am a natural sceptic and have been since I was in single digits. Just ask my Sunday School teacher. My friend, R, is my polar opposite. She is open completely to the Universe and all its possibilities. I have spent the last five years watching in amazement as she has gone through a painful separation and divorce, breast cancer and living below the poverty level through all of it. She is totally confident that the Universe will provide. She is fearless and loving. I really am in awe of her and I owe these little forays into the great unknown to her example.
Not sure what prompted this post -- bread withdrawal? It's probably due to the fact that I'm the only one in Albany, NY working on this day before the holiday weekend. I used to get into trouble when I was bored. Now I expand my mind.