Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Easter Traditions Gone Bad.

Now that I've solved my disappearing comments problem (thank you, Mama Pea), I thought I would have some fun at the expense of Easter traditions.  I will share the short but heart-breaking story of a little girl's Easter tradition that went very, very wrong.

This adorable tot, at the tender age of 8ish (you see, now that she's a middle-aged woman, her memory is spongy, along with her thighs) looked forward to her family's Easter traditions.  There was the new Easter dress - that year, a yellow and white Swiss dot confection, with little white gloves, lace-trimmed white anklets, black patent leather Mary Janes, and a fetching little hat.  She got to go to church with her family - two sisters, clad in equally splendid attire, beautiful mother who also wore gloves and a Jackie Kennedy hat, handsome father who closely resembled David Niven, in his Sunday suit and bright striped tie.  The church was filled with flowers and everyone was in their very best clothes.  It was wonderful!

Piling out of the Dodge (with tail fins), she and her sisters raced into the house, flinging finery in every direction.  For, you see, this little girl's favorite attire had NOTHING to do with dresses, gloves, shiny shoes or socks.  She went right into her cowgirl pearl snapped shirt, with matching jeans!  Now, there was glamor!!!  She was ready for the big event.  The presentation of the Easter basket and the big Easter Egg Hunt!  Her mother, who had spent considerable time, money and effort in making this a special Easter basket, held it out for the little girl.  Her mother's eyes were glowing with love and pride.

Then the little girl saw the duck.  It was a real duckling.  A real dead duckling, carefully preserved with wired legs, wings and feet.  The little girl burst into tears, dropped her basket, and could not be consoled for the rest of the day.

The end.

So, what was your most memorable Easter holiday - good or bad?


  1. OMG! That was a horror story right up there with the best of them. I'm sorry, but what was your mother thinking? OMG.

    My most memorable Easter was a less than good one, too. My brother was 4 years old, me 8. He had long suffered with terrible earaches and, in that day and age, removing the tonsils was supposed to cure the problem. So he went to the hospital on Good Friday to have the surgery. He couldn't come home until two days later on Easter Sunday. That morning I ran downstairs to find my Easter basket waiting for me. Huh? No basket. Not in it's usual spot. Nowhere. I ran to find my mother to ask where my basket was. She explained that the Easter Bunny didn't come because my brother wasn't home and when he did return, he couldn't have any candy because of his surgery. (Talk about feeling like chopped liver!)

  2. Mama Pea - that stinks! Bad mommy!! I don't think my mother would have withheld (oh, if only she had) our baskets if one was missing. We'd have whined ad nauseum until she gave in.

  3. one of mine wasn't so hot either-we had received little duckling-"istsy" bitsy" and parlavo" my sister named them-well to make a long story short-I asked some months later-why we were taking the ducks with us to uncle Joe's where a family reunion was to be held . only later did I find out they BBQ'd them boo ho

  4. Judy - OMG! That's a rather harsh dose of reality!

  5. I'm beginning to think my very tame Easter memories are a HUGE blessing! ACK!

  6. Michelle - I'll say! Although, to be fair to my parents, all the rest were fun and uneventful - except for the ONE outdoor hunt, where the wild things found our eggs before we did...nuff said.

  7. My most memorable Easter event actually happened long after Easter. We always went to my grandmother's home for Easter and had a huge egg hunt with all the cousins. Of course, chaos ensued when we were visiting for 4th of July and we found a long-missed egg in the 'parlor'. Let's just say that we evacuated the house for a few hours...

  8. Fullfreezer - Hoot!! One of the pitfalls of indoor egg hunts.