The entire month of January reached the uppermost tippy-top of the list as the most stressful week IN MY WHOLE FREAKING LIFE. Or at least as much of my life as I can remember - there are a lot of gray areas amongst the clear bits. I thought I had seen the last dregs of hell last week, but NO. After a grueling session with a lobbying auditor (think IRS times 500), I managed to lock my keys in my car. Sigh. While I am glad I have AAA, I am not glad that I had to wait over an hour and a half for someone to show up. While I froze in the garage and got completely angst-ridden about the poor pups at home for close to 12 hours. Some of that time was spent amusing myself, trying to guess where Pepper had peed. I limped home on less than an eighth of a tank of gas - reassuring myself that this was the one night during the next five months where the temps were not dropping below zero so I would be/my car would be okay - and was greeted by hysteria. Even the cats got in on the action. They are usually above hysteria or showing any outward signs of emotion, good or bad.
The eve of the eve of the last night of January, there was terrorizing of dogs, plastic bags, toilet paper, stacks of books, frenetic scratching at their scratch waves, careening off of hallway walls, a couple of close calls with fragile objects. Cupboard doors were flung open. It was awe-inspiring in a terrifying way.
As a matter of fact, the cat hysteria did not stop until around midnight. Finally falling asleep around one, I was up at 4 to find.... more snow! Yippee! I was so, so, so, so, glad that I got to round off my Month From Hell with a nice, challenging drive to work. And it only took me two hours to get there (with a stop to fill the tank)! Yay! I suppose I should be thrilled when there isn't snow and the only problem is the sound of the temperature dropping like an Arctic stone. Le Sigh.
15 comments:
It reflects badly on the pups and cats there was no supper ready and slippers warming by the fire for their long lost leader. If I were you I would take to your bed for three days and completely ignore them. As for auditors it really throws them for a loop to look them in the eye and ask 'Exactly how horrible is your life" as in there must be a reason for your need to make mine a living hell.
You will survive--tough cookie that you are. I have no doubts. But--as one who has gone through an entire YEAR of hell, be careful choosing your words. Seems every time hubby and I SAID it couldn't get worse ---it did. Go hide in a closet with a thermos of something "calming" and ride it out.
I'm always sorry to say that I laugh at your miseries, but you are one seriously funny gal. I can't imagine anything getting the best of you. Hang in there
Susan - I am sure that part (ahem) of my problem with the auditor was that I find it suspicious that an ethics commission selected by the ethically-challenged legislature should make my life miserable. If I tried to hide from the dogs/cats for three days, they'd eat through the door! :)
Sue - Gasp. I forgot about the Bad Voodoo! I may be in that closet with a cooler full of something 'calming'... Humor is often the only thing between me and insanity. :)
Excuse me while I wipe away the tears from the laughter. (That cat cartoon is the best one I've seen in ages. Hahahaheeheehohoho!)
Take a spare car key, put a narrow ribbon on it, add one small safety pin and attach it to your bra strap. I'm serious. If anyone had seen you in the company garage as you semi-disrobed in order to get it, you may have had some 'splainin' to do, but it would have saved you much angst and you would have arrived home an hour and a half earlier to assess the demonic cat damage.
An audit is never a pleasant thing to have to endure, but I know you sailed through it, right? (Other than the nervous breakdown, I mean.)
Just as we were just about "full up" with Betsy's psycho behavior she caught a mouse in the house. I guess she's "safe" for a few more days now ;-).
Mama Pea - I know, isn't it a riot? And so realistic!
TCSL- ooooh, we specialize in psycho kitties! Send Betsy up to Camp Crazy! She'll fit right in...
You need to go get a massage or something! And the link for the "Check!" post isn't working???
my comment disappeared. carry two sets of all keys at all times.
The next time the auditors bother you, just bark at them. Don't yell or even think about cooperating, just bark bark bark. They'll turn tail and run in a hot minute. I agree with Nancy that you need a three hour massage and a personal assistant.
I'm so sorry. I wish I coudl be there to comfort you (fill your wine glass). Did you ever firgure out what the heck was up with the nutjob cats?
Brrrrrrrr!!!!!! Does not sound fun at all!! Come for a visit. It'd be downright balmy here compared to there and NO snow.
Must be something in the air....Picassa who does not climb curtains as long as we have been here...decided to climb the room darkening blanket that covers the window at the head of the bed...in the middle of a sound sleep...cat..blanket and curtain rod all came crashing down on our heads! I think I looked like the cat in your post! Hang in there spring is on the way..really!
Oh goodness! It can only go up from there....
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