SPRING!
Myth:
Oh, what glorious clear blue skies! It is so awesome to stand on the deck with my morning coffee and listen to the sweet notes of birdsong, letting my eyes rest on the delicate green haze of the first leaves and the soft beginnings of grass. It's just so wonderful, peaceful and bucolic that I think I might invite my poor, city friends for dinner this weekend - I'm sure they would love the fresh air, quiet clucking of the hens and sweet faces of the sheep.
Reality:
Oh, good gawd. I just lost my Wellie in the mud, again. Will it ever stop raining? Will I ever be able to put my winter coat away? Doesn't it figure. I've invited six for dinner this weekend and they've sprayed the field next door with liquid shite. I wonder if it's possible to eat while wearing Hazmat suits. For crying out loud, Reggie! Would you PLEASE give the hens a break, you sex maniac! Dotty! Quit attacking the Blondies! Who's bleeding?!? I HEAR you, Norman! The entire county hears you! I will bring your hay out in a minute. Just let me pick these black flies out of my coffee.
*I will be periodically entertaining you with my interpretations of the Myth and Reality of Country Living. Let the cow pies fall where they may.
13 comments:
Whatever helps you deal! 😉
Totally enjoyed that!! Keep it up! You should of been a writer. xo
:)) Thank you!
Hahahahahaha, a hilarious post! Yes, please, more!
snort. it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't true.
This is much like dealing with my cat. At least there only is one of him.
Truth.
OMG that is so hysterical! Yes life in the rural Lane I'm sure has a lot more ups and downs than most in Spring can be kind of crazy!
Susan that is so great! I look forward to more!
Hysterical!!!
I hope you're collecting these for a book. I mean, when you retire from your outside job, you'll have so much free time (hahachortlesnortsnort) that you'll have your book about REAL homesteading life nearly set for publication. You've got one GREAT sense of humor, girl! Plus, you're a talented writer.
What a humorous way to start my morning!
Ahhh you are neck deep in SOP!
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