We had us a camel rodeo!

Lordawmighty.  It was not a pretty sight, let me tell you.  Kevin Ford arrived early morning and I had closed the gang in the shed for the night - since there was rain forecast for the next 200 days.  He set up and we moved the three sheep through quickly and without too much fuss, although Linden seemed to feel the entire process was way beneath his dignity.  He's an eely thing, for a fat little sheep.  I always stop to admire Juno's beautiful, black, dense, velvety pelt.  She is such a beautiful sheep.

Then I went into the shed to put on Apria's halter.

It got real exciting after that.  She was surprisingly good about my putting the halter on.  And she came out without too much hesitation on the lead.  Then she noticed that there was a foreigner in the mix (Kevin) and we had us a hootenanny!  She was a whirling kaleidoscope of dirty dreadlocks.  She bucked.  She bounced.  She carried on.  Then she finally dug her heels in.  Part of the problem, of course, is that her vision is impaired.  We were finally calmed down when she stepped in a feed dish.  We repeated the dance a few times until we got her moved over to a sizable tree and tied her lead tightly to it.

It wasn't too bad at the start - Kevin had to work his way through about six inches of heavy felted fiber on her neck.  And he is a blade shearer - no electric gizmos for him.  Apria was wary, but he was making headway until....he neared her legs.  Now Hoosier was no fan of leg shenanigans, either.  But hoo-ha, my Aunt Marie!  Hoosier was nothing compared to the appearance of the Evil Inner Camel!  She bared her teeth, she screeched, she gurgled, she spit, she kicked, bucked, danced and looked like a possessed thing.  I braced her on one side, Kevin draped himself over and gingerly clipped her legs and haunches.  He laughingly said there was one llama he sheared that would put his head back and spit straight up.  And then it rained down on everyone.  I kept a very close eye on her head after that. 

The "Before".

"Does my head look fat?"

The process was punctuated by worried bleats by Linden, who has taken quite a fancy to Apria.  I don't blame him.  The entire experience would have chilled the blood of even your most shock-resistent teenager.  After about 20 minutes, we were both breathless and all that was left was her mid-section.  We decided that it was a good idea to just shear her down from head to toe and not have to revisit this Llama version of The Exorcist for another year.  Then we looked down at her hooves.  They need trimming.  Then we looked at each other, and I busied myself gathering wool (she must have been carrying a 10 pound wad of felted fiber on her neck), while he hurried to cram his blade and kit together.  I kidded him that she was a perfect warm-up act for the next three llamas he was heading off to shear.  While he laughed weakly, he sure was moving fast toward his car and escape.  I think a gallon of Rescue Remedy is in order for hoof trimming.

Sigh.  So, it wasn't the "wool" that made them look fat.

Monday Musings.

So, where does integrity step in vs. good manners?  I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  I was raised with a heavy accentuation on 'good manners'.  I never EVER referred to the parents of my playmates or any adult, by their first name.  Ever.  It's not quite so bad now, since I have friends who are my parents' age - and they would tan my hide if I called them Mr. and Mrs. T.  And, by golly, I think they could!  And, since I now have no idea where I was going with this opening salvo, having started this post last week, I will leave it dangling here at the moment.  Hopefully, the purpose of this quest will revisit me.  Along with my sanity and memory.

I have learned many new things over the past week. 

1.  Contrary to what I have been told (and then have passed along to others as Gospel - mea culpa), one can have chipmunks AND rats.

2.  There is no such thing as one rat.

3.  I hate rats.

4.  Rats are cagey and smart.

5.  I'm tired of talking about rats.

6.  Apria did not have a full shear NOT, as I was led to believe, because her previous owner was too busy.  It was because she becomes a stinkin', spittin', buckin' CAMEL!

7.  I still am a victim of De-Nial.

8.  My vision of myself is completely untethered in reality.

Rats?  See #5.  Apria?  More in next post.  7?  8?  I am still musing on these.

Goodbye, Big Sweetie.

Riley came to live with me the day before Bernie arrived.  He had been neglected and abused and I took him in thinking, how different could it be between a Bernie and a Riley?  About 90 lbs!  He was the sweetest, most loving dog, even after all the pain and loneliness he had endured.  Then he took umbrage with a neighbor - nothing vicious, but he felt he was protecting me and grabbed her arm.  Unfortunately, this particular neighbor was the highly litigious type and, after many weeks of veiled threats of lawsuits, I reported the incident to my insurance company.  They promptly dropped me.  And I could not find another insurance company who would cover me as long as Riley lived under my roof.  A heartbreaking search led (with divine intervention, I am sure) to Tara and her family.  They took him into their home and hearts and loved him mightily.  And he them back.  Due, most likely to his early neglect and abuse, he developed a neurological problem that could not be cured.  They nursed and loved him along for almost a year.  Recently, he had reached a point where he was in much pain and wouldn't eat.  They had to make the decision - such a difficult, loving decision - to let him go.  We all will miss him.  He was a good boy.

p.s.  I need to add that it was because of the kindness of my sister and her husband that Riley was rescued from his particular hell in the first place. 

Part Two: What else I did on my vacation.

I tell you, I have never had that many days off in succession.  I can see why - I didn't want to go back!  Besides the gardening, cooping, watering, cleaning that I related in my last post, I also replaced my front storm door, re-homed numerous possessions via Freecycle, cleaned most of my deck, and built (or, adapted) a trellis for my exuberant hops vine. 

Repurposed Victorian screen door.



I cleaned up piles of stuff, moved more piles of stuff, weeded, had a nice late-birthday-brunch with Sylvie, and ventured into Mall-ville.   A trip to hell from which I am still recovering.  I think I go once a year.  I may change that to once a century.

Calendula coming up.

Nothing like llama beans for growing garlic

Strawberry bed - de-Bernie-ized

The flower bed.  Also known as the Wild Thang.

Remember my nice rain barrel?  This is how it looked (after I righted it) in the aftermath of Tuesday's severe thunderstorms - with much rain (now lost), wind and lightning.

Obviously, there are some flaws with the design.

Remind me to quite griping about the weather.  It always comes back to bite me in the hiney.  Tuesday morning, my first day back to work, it got up to 97 degrees!  We were then hit with a series of severe thunderstorms that ripped tarps down, knocked my less-than-perfectly-designed rain barrel over, flattened fields, and flooded roads.  I managed to leave a little early and got home just as the second round hit - in time to let poor Bernie under my bed and rachet down a few things.  I mean, really.  Is so much extreme weather really necessary?  Is it too much to ask to just get a nice rainfall?  Apparently so.  Another storm came through yesterday, but today is lovely.  I managed to put in my little sunflower and morning glory seedlings and erect a temporary fence around them.  I doubt if that will ward off the entire population of East Coast chipmunks, which I appear to be supporting.  Along with the (ick, ick, icks). 

Part One: What I did on my vacation (with pictures to prove it.)

Back from the abyss of no computer...

Following a shaky start to my eagerly-awaited vacation, I gained momentum and added a steady stream of checks to my to-do lists.  Last Friday, on what should have been the highlight of my week, I straggled home early to clean the house for Girls' Night.  It had been a stressful week.  I got out of my car to the sounds of....Sage.  Yes, she had found the ONE part of the fence that had not been Sage-proofed and had her bony noggin firmly caught.  Chickie was so happy to see me - he had been keeping her company which was very boring.  I went into the house for wire cutters to find...Bernie had dragged a box out of recycling and had virtually shredded it.  All over the living room, dining room and kitchen.  I did what any sane person pushed to the brink of madness would have done.  I put my head back and screamed at the top of my lungs.  It cleared the room and luckily didn't bring any neighbors running.  That done, I got the wire cutters, freed Sage and came in and cleaned the house.  

Innocence personified.

I am not stoopid enough to put my head
through a fence.  Multiple times.

Dinner came off without a hitch, if you don't count turning my back for a nanosecond and the balsamic vinegar/honey glaze dissolving into a molten charred mass in my cast iron pan.

Saturday was equally as peaceful.  The couple with whom I had been communicating for months about buying two of my remaining lambs, changed their plans (for the 200th time) and, instead of coming that Monday morning, told me on Friday they were coming the next morning.  He ("hubby") called me when he left at 7a and we figured it would be 3 hours.  I dragged Kay out of bed to come help me do a mass herd vaccination/worming and hoof trimming.  We got all shots done and hooves trimmed on the two lambs by 10:15.  They showed up at 11:30.  When I remarked that it was a lot longer trip than we thought, they casually said that they had had a nice leisurely drive and stopped for an equally leisurely breakfast.  After they left, I found that they had also leisurely short-changed me.  Had they not been friends of my sister, I would have gotten in my car and tracked them down.

And did I mention that I developed laryngitis by Saturday afternoon?  Oh, never mind.  Since rain was predicted every day except Monday, I arose Monday at 4:30 and hit the gardens as soon as chores were done.  I got everything planted with the exception of the summer squash.  The two raised beds remain unfilled.  I contemplated it Wednesday- the only other day without rain forecast - but I also had to replace my storm door and finish cleaning the chicken coop.  I am now realizing why most of the retired friends I have are so busy.  It never ends.

Garden beds

Pak choy coming up on right

Tire "garden" potatoes and herbs

Tomatoes, cukes, peppers, basil

What should have been a one-day coop cleaning, turned into a three day debacle.  I hadn't realized that a) it became summer overnight and b) I have rats.  Day One was most of the shoveling and sweeping.  Day Two was the heavy shoveling and cleaning out of nesting boxes, along with more sweeping.  I let the area under the roosts dry completely so I could survey the rat-damage.  They had managed to chew a couple of holes in the soft wood.  Sooooooo, Day Three was spent on hands and knees with clippers, pliers, hardware cloth, hammer, nails and staple gun - and haz-mat suit.  All holes were tightly covered with hardware cloth.  Then a nice fresh dusting of shavings and we're done (please, God) until fall.  I also took a half a box of moth balls and tossed them all around the attached shed, or the Rat Haven, as it's now known.  Ick.  Ick.  Ick.  That extra time put the kibosh on goat barn cleaning and building up the fricasees' new digs.  But there are more weekends to come, right?

After getting one day straight of rain, we have had nary a drop.  But, wait!  I am now armed with my handy-dandy retractable 100' garden hose!  And I (puffing up with pride) installed it myself.  I dug out my masonry drill bits and my 'real deal' drill and managed to mount the holder securely (and fairly level) to the foundation.  I L.O.V.E. my retractable hose.  I also had one of those 'duh' moments and realized that, since we had now, somehow, rocketed forward to August, the cold frame was a hotbox to my lettuces.  So I stuck in four step-in posts and rubber banded a piece of row cloth to make a shade cover.  That seems to be working nicely.  We will see how it holds up under the severe storms predicted to come our way this afternoon.  After slogging around Monday afternoon in heat and humidity, trying to convince myself that I should start schlepping wheelbarrow-fuls of dirt to the new raised beds, I said 'to hell with it', and came inside and read a book.  It was marvelous.

The hose, in all its glory.

Makeshift cold frame canopy.

Monday Musings.

It occurred to me while I was shoveling heavy layers of chicken poop for the second day, that this little chore would make a great community service requirement for some miscreant.  Other than me.  I could almost guarantee there would be no repeat offenders if the sentence included cleaning out chicken coops after a long, wet winter.  And how about untangling a mass of poultry netting?  Would some purse-snatcher, staring at a Coach bag dangling temptingly from a shoulder consider going another round with the mass-of-poultry-netting-from-hell worth the chance?  I think not.  Considering pinching that doodad from the store?  How does a sentence of 500 hours of cat-washing grab you?  I am sure we could come up with a list of penalties that would turn around the criminal mind.

I have a very vivid memory of what deterred me from my life of crime.  Yes, I was headed down that murky path at a very young age.  I sashayed over to our nearest local store - another one of those walkabouts that drove my poor mother mad with worry - I must have been around nine.  I didn't have the concept of money down yet, although I did have a small allowance, so I meandered up and down the two aisles of the little store and helped myself to a piece of bubble gum.  The store owner saw me, grabbed me by the arm and called my parents (after he threatened to call the coppers!)  My mother came with a neighbor who had a car and there was some very stern talking-to, thinly veiled threats, and tearful promises from me to walk the straight and narrow, after forking over my one cent for the purloined gum.  I remember the store owners as a kind and friendly couple, so I can only imagine that this "show" was for my benefit.  And it worked.  To this day, I  a) cannot stomach bubble gum, and b) break into a cold sweat at the sight of a police car.

Itchin'.

As in I am only one and a half days from 10 days off.  And I am itchin' to go.  Now.  I am also trying to keep my expectations reasonable - very difficult for me, given 10 whole glorious days stretching ahead.  Oh, the possibilities!!

Some things lined up are:  getting more memory put in my laptop (a creaky old Dell that I won't part with), celebrating Sylvie's birthday (late), putting up the final panel in the guest bathroom (only four years late), clean chicken coop, clean goat barn, finish planting garden, send Acacia and Banyan off to their new home in NH.

Since "Delly" will be at the computer clinic, there may be a missed Monday Musings.  Never fear - I continue to muse and will pick up the beat the following Monday.  And just to bring this week to a perfect end - it has been completely hellish - they are predicting frost tonight and tomorrow morning.  Of course they are.  I mean, why not?  It only got up to near 80 degrees yesterday.  Why wouldn't we expect frost tonight?  I drip sarcasm.

For Nancy, here is the recipe for the brown rice flour pancakes:

Rice Flour Pancakes
Adapted from The Whole Life Nutrition Cookbook

1 Cup brown rice flour
1/4 Cup tapioca flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon Nathan gum
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1-1/2 Cup milk (any kind will do - soy, hemp, rice, etc.)
1 egg
2 Tablespoons melted virgin coconut oil
1 Tablespoon agave nectar

Mix dry ingredients together in a medium bowl.  You can make a big batch and put it in a jar to use as a mix.  In a separate bowl, whisk the wet ingredients together.  Add wet ingredients to dry and mix gently.

Heat a medium skillet (I always use cast iron) and add a little coconut oil or butter.  Once heated, pour about a 1/2 cup of batter and cook until bubbles rise and break on surface of pancake.  Flip over and cook a minute or two.  Continue to use all the batter.  This made about 7-8 medium sized pancakes.  I froze the leftovers.