You'll have to use your imagination.

No pictures with this post - it falls under the "what I won't do" category.


I have been feeding the lone barn cat - a few others come and go - over at my neighbor's late father's farmhouse every morning.  This arose after I realized the farmer was putting poison rat bait in the barn AND feeding the barn cat.  Argh!  So we worked out a deal where I feed the cat on the farmhouse porch so that I can make sure she won't rely on a diet of poisoned mice.  She's still a huntress, but at least she's so well-fed she's not eating her catch.


Every morning between 6:30-7, I drive to the farm and leave dry food for her.  If she is there, I also give her a tin of wet food.  While I won't say we are chums, after months of slow motions and ridiculous baby talk, she at least does not bolt off and hide when I'm there.  We've reached a sort of détente.  If she is not waiting for me, I just leave dry food, not wanting to attract unwanted dinner guests.


The Sunday following Thanksgiving, I had heated up some generic sausage/cheese/egg/biscuit breakfast sandwiches for the guys - a break from sugar for them and a break from baking for me.  I decided to deliver the sandwiches first, and then feed the cat.  Except...


As I slowed down going past the farmhouse - checking to see if she was on the porch, waiting for me - I happened to look up at a large maple tree at the side of the driveway.  Waaaay at the top, teetering on a small branch, was the cat.  I slammed the brakes on, swerved into the driveway, put the car in neutral and jumped out.  She was hollering up a storm.  I was trying to talk her down - with a little success, as she sidled down to a less fragile branch about two feet below.  I knew that there was no way I could climb up there to get her because: a.  my joints throbbed just thinking about it and there wasn't a ladder handy; and b.  she would have torn me to ribbons.  We're not THAT close.


What to do, what to do.  We stared at each other for a few minutes, then I turned around with my back facing the tree trunk and bent over.  There was a moment or two of hesitation (wherein I was praying no one would drive by and wonder what the heck I was doing), then she dropped like a stone onto my back and bounced onto the ground.  Let me say two things - she's VERY well-fed and I am so very grateful that I was wearing my heavy-duty, twill down vest.  We both took a moment to recover and then I served her breakfast.  The guys got lukewarm sandwiches.