Pages

Saturday, December 4, 2021

So complicated on every level

Bless your heart, you good, good
girl

On Sunday, Apria cushed (llama speak for settled in a bundle on the ground), gazing into the distance.  By Monday she had passed away, before I could get a vet to the farm.  She was in her early 20s and I had hoped for another five or so years with her.  It was not to be.  I think that her blindness, oncoming deafness and challenged dentifrice just wore her out.  

As if that wasn't bad enough, the process of removing her and giving her a decent burial has been somewhere between planning military maneuvers and juggling with swords.  It is a nightmare which, I hope, is over today.  I'm not holding my breath.  So far, I've had to cut trees down, remove a section of fence and I'm on the phone with farmers, excavators and loggers - leaving messages and waiting (and waiting) for return calls.  My neighbor and I managed to get four of the five trees that needed to be removed (all are pines and all are dying) cut down but the fifth needed a professional.  Enter Dreamboat Arborist, Llew.  He cut the tree down last evening as the sun was setting, climbing up the tree in near-darkness.  I have yet to see the excavator, but I hope he'll be here today to see what equipment will be needed.  A farmer friend has offered a spot behind his barn for her final resting place.  Now, if all the many pieces of this gawd-awful puzzle would just fall into place, Linden and I can get some peace of mind.  

Then, there is Linden.  I need to find him a home where he can live out the rest of his retirement years.  My only other option is to add a companion animal to the farm, but, frankly, my heart just isn't in it.  Neither is my pocketbook.  Fingers crossed that this lovely girl can finally be released to her next adventure, or go to the place where llamas gather.  Linden and I could use some rest, too.



21 comments:

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

In the picture Apria looks so sweet. I am sorry she passed away. It must have been so heartbreaking to know how seriously ill she was and not to have been able to get a vet to come out in time and help her in one way or the other.

Take care.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

oh i am so sorry to hear this. i hope you and linden feel better soon. damn i hate to lose pets.

Karla said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about Apria. As if her death wasn't hard enough, trying to honor her in her burial shouldn't have to be so hard. My dear sister-in-law has horses, and has buried 3 so far on their land. It seems so indecent to need the large machinery for this process - yet, what else can you do? Your girl knew she was loved. I pray you get the rest you need.

Marcia LaRue said...

My goodness ... every post from you is quite the adventure! So sorry about your llama girl, however, it seems she simply went to sleep as she lay in the field! What a way to go!!
Sounds like you are getting the needed help you need and, eventually, you will be able to catch a needed break! Stay well!

Boud said...

Do sorry for your loss. Yes, your remaining llama needs company. I hope you can arrange it. Such a to-do trying to arrange a burial. I'm glad you at least have a location set up.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Poor old Apria. Sorry for your loss. I hope you find a good retirement home for Linden.

Michelle said...

Oh dear; what an undesirable circus to have to go through, especially at this time of year. Poor you; poor Linden. Hugs, my friend.

coffeeontheporchwithme said...

Sorry to hear about your lovely girl. I hope the rest of the orchestration went well. I hope you can also find a home for Linden, perhaps close enough so you can go visit. -Jenn

Goatldi said...

Safe journey Apria and may those left behind find peace.

Rosalea said...

So sorry to hear that. Sure hope everything works out quickly and peacefully.

www.self-sufficientsam.blogspot.com said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I had my animals cremated. We had one Rottweiler that my son buried on the farm by himself. It was his dog that he grew up with. I'll never forget hearing him from the upper pasture just bawling his eyes out. He wanted to do it himself but it was awful to witness along with our own grief. All my animals died before I had to find homes for them so I was fortunate in that way. I just had the 2 dogs to take with me when I left the farm.
I hope everything works out for you and you stay solvent! Animals and their upkeep can be pricy and that is exactly why I no longer have any except for the 2 cats which will probably outlive me. But my daughter promises she will take them. Hugs to you and to your lovely Apria.

Mama Pea said...

I don't know of anyone who would loved and cared for and given Apria a better home than you did, Sweezie. Given her handicap(s) and all that entailed, you are a saint to have wished for more years with her. Your decision about re-homing Linden is, I think, a very wise one. You'll find a good home for him, I know, and he'll adjust being with new friends.

Theresa Y said...

April was beautiful. I hope her leaving was peaceful and I'm sorry you lost her. Our beasties are such a big part of our lives. The really steal our hearts...

Ed said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. I can relate. Our farm is a veritable cemetery of pets and favorite animals.

DFW said...

Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. Bless you in making the right decisions for those left behind.

ellen abbott said...

Sad to hear but sounds like she was just done. Animals are people and need companionship too so I hope you can find a good new home with company for Linden.

thecrazysheeplady said...

I am so sorry...on every level. {{{hug}}}

Leigh said...

Such sad news. It's always hard to lose them. Hugs to you!

Debby said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Kudos to you for taking a look at Linden's situation and making the best decision for him. In case no one has told you, you're really magnificent.

Nancy @ Little Homestead In Boise said...

Oh so sorry for your loss! What a gorgeous girl. I'm sure she had a very Lush Life with you and I hope you can find a nice home for your other beautiful baby

Retired Knitter said...

I missed this post. I am so sorry for your loss. She looks like such a lovely animal. So hard.