A Valentine Fake-u.

(Not to be confused with a haiku, which it ain't.)

Kisses, cuddles, koochy-koo

Will read about them

But not get them, boo-hoo.

Just to show there are no hard feelings for those of you who DO get all of the above, along with chocolates, flowers and dinner out, I have decided to throw an impromptu giveaway.  And I have no idea what I'm giving away, but it will be something nice.  Or interesting. 

To be entered, write your own fake-u on a Valentine's Day theme in the comment section.  Cut off for entry will be midnight tonight.  Winner will be chosen and announced tomorrow.

Have fun - and don't make me cry.... :)

Monday Musings. Running It Up the Flagpole Edition.

Musing my way through the pea-soup fog recently, inching my way home, I was thinking about Erma Bombeck, Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and the rest of the grand old girls of sage advice.  That got me thinking - hey!  I am big on handing out advice, asked for or not!  Just ask my two younger sisters.  I am, indeed, a bossy-pants, albeit those pants are a little looser now.  Not the bossy part, I am tight with my bossy-ness.

Along this line of thought, I noodled around an idea to run a regular/weekly (ish) post offering my humble services as patcher of fences, mender of hearts, a virtual shoulder to whine on.  And...it became "Dear Aunt Sweezie".  If there is a dilemma in your life that begs to be addressed, a burning question that needs answering, send an email to DearAuntSweezie@gmail.com.  I will do my best to answer all requests/questions within reason (and don't ask me why there is air;  Bill Cosby already covered that).  

What do you say?  Are you willing to indulge me?  Enable me?  Go along for the ride?  If nothing else, it can help us laugh our way through winter!  And let's see if I can keep up with my multiple personalities~.

Monday Musings.

I am so glad that I have practical skills.  I have a heck of a time in winter with my hands, so I go through any number of combinations:  thermal gloves; silk glove liners with thermal gloves; mittens; thermal mittens - you name it, I've tried it.  The best combination seems to be silk glove liners (heavy version) with wool mittens.  So, I just whipped me up some nice, toasty wool mittens!  It also helps, of course, to have an embarrassingly large stash of yarn.



This is my 10th headband/ear warmer.  I'm addicted to cables thanks to Melanie.
It's actually a leaf green and the mittens are bittersweet-ish.  Go figure.

 While I was at it, I also whipped up a nifty little woolen sock for my iPhone.  With an equally nifty little front pocket for its new friend, Bluey.

Bluey is now safe from the Catz.

Wet wool always invokes my childhood in Ohio, right near the southern shore of Lake Erie.  We sure got winters!  We would be swaddled, bundled, wrapped, zipped and buckled into an array of woolen garments (yes, I was a child in the Stone Age before fleece...), then we would catapult out the door and play until we were blue-lipped, our mittens sodden, covering wet, wrinkled fingers - and we would still drag our feet toward home - after the appointed mother on our street gave the "Lunch!" call.  This was usually Mrs. S, as she had a voice that could reach Canada.  I swear we could have stayed out for days in the snow.

As I was schlepping through the slush and muck of our early January thaw yesterday (48 degrees!) trying to find patches of snow in order to pull my hay sled, I was thinking of creating the "Homesteader's Alphabet".  I was actually trying desperately to ignore the incessant clanging of the Guineas...  Here it is:

A is for Animal Husbandry - which you better learn fast
B is for Billy Goats - of which I am glad I ain't got any
C is for Carpentry - a skill which you will develop for better or for worse
D is for Dragging - your sled or your sorry butt out of bed
E is for Energy - you'll need A LOT
F is for Fun - harder to come by than you'd think
G is for Goats - small milking animals that unlatch any gate known to man/woman
H is for Horses - which I wish I had
I is for Ignorant - you may start out that way, but you'll learn fast...
J is for Joy - if this lifestyle doesn't bring it, it's not for you
K is for Kevetching - we don't blame you if you do
L is for Love - I love this lifestyle, no matter what and you better, too!
M is for Manure - learn to love it - you'll be dealing with it 24/7
N is for Numb - as are my fingers as I do chores in winter
O is for Optimism - a necessity in homesteading
P is for Perseverance - you'll need this in a truckload (see O)
Q is for Quiet - Those precious moments when the Guineas are mute
R is for Resilience - Another necessary ingredient (see O and P)
S is for Sleep - which you'll fondly remember
T is for Tired - your normal state of being
U is for Unglamorous - that would be your wardrobe
V is for Vivacity - you may have had it in high school, but 7 years of homesteading will take care of that
W is for Work - 'nuff said
X is for eXcellent food - okay, it's a stretch, but there's nothing like that which you raise yourself
Y is for Yodeling - just checking to see if you made it this far
Z is for Zen - mostly, my life is just that - a rythmn and connection that you can't find in most places.  My little piece of Heaven.  My Little Lucky Farm.