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Thursday, August 7, 2014

Is there such a thing as a "Typical Day"?

I was wondering about that this morning.  I would have to say that my typical day is atypical.  Or is that an oxymoron?   My days have shifting chores - depending on the behaviour of the indoor group, the weather, the traffic to/from the job, how much sleep I got or didn't - on a whole variety of variants.  (Redundant?  My third grade teacher, Mrs. Puca, would be rolling in the hereafter...)

This is my day so far:

Awake, tossing and turning at 2:30A.  Force myself to stay in bed and try to go back to sleep.  This was the result of eating later than usual and having two glasses of wine.  The cast iron stomach of my youth is way gone.  I am also trying to adjust to a small, warm bundle of Velcro that snugs up against me.  Pepper.

3:20A, I give up and get up.  Much yawning, snorting, clicking of nails from outside the bedroom door.  Everyone goes out - they are very good at rocketing off the deck without barking.  I am sure my neighbors, whether they know it or not, owe me.  Then pat the three little black and white cat heads that surge around my ankles. 

I pad off to the kitchen and plug in the electric water kettle.  My coffee method du jour is coffee concentrate made with my Toddy.  (Thank you, Sylvie.)  A dash of cream, a tiny spoon of sugar, and I am off to check email.  You never know - someone might have sent me an important message between 10P and 3:20.  Not.  I put in a disc from my current book on CD, let the dogs in, and curl up with my coffee and Pepper.  And Cookie.  And Kramer.  And, not to be left out, the front end of Lovey.

By 4:30A, I am revived and go make another cup o' joe.  Then I wash yesterday's dishes, sort out the cat and dog food, and pack my lunch.  Then I go sit down again with the usual suspects.  By 5:30A, I am making my bed and slipping seductively into barn clothes (multi-patched jeans, giant t-shirt from a Juvenile Diabetes Walk 18 years ago).  I wade through the various pawed ones, lift Pepper's bowl off the floor (cue hysteria) and go get a quarter cup of kibble to soak in homemade chicken broth.  Gently heated.  I then pick up the other two bowls (more hysteria - this time affecting the cats, too) and portion out their kibble.  Much yipping and snorting (Scrappy snorts).  When the broth is juuuust right, I portion it out and then add Pepper's softened kibble.  I then portion out the cats' every-other-day helping of canned cat food.  Complete hysteria, including spinning and talking in tongues, while I put down their bowls.

I head down the hallway towards the cat room - Kramer gets his food separately because he's skinny and a slow eater and needs more time than the other two butterballs.  The other two get theirs in the office, behind a closed door.  I'll skip over the cleaning of the cat commode, etc. - by then Pepper and Lovey are frothing around outside the baby gate in front of the cat room.  We go out for a walk, making sure all 'business' is taken care of.  Come back, let the cats out of the office - dogs surge in to clean up any missed molecules.  I had out crunchy treats and make my breakfast.  I labor over my crossword puzzle, listen to the weather, then head outside. 

Chickens first.  My latest typical day includes filling the Nuggets' feeders and waterer, then opening the door and watching them as they launch themselves like giant led balls, landing in various awkward and ungraceful positions before lumbering off to the feeders.  The Tweenies shoot out, happy to be away from so much body fat.  Then I left the babes out (all SIX - my lost guy came back!) and fill up their feeder and waterer.  THEN, I open the chicken door on the main coop, tossing down any treats from the kitchen, strewing a handful of scratch feed, and fill up their feeder and waterer.

On to the sheep.  Everyone gets a good scratching behind the ears (Norman is still a little twitchy), then I go into the barn and bring out the hay.  It goes in two piles - the boys and Apria; Juno.  She doesn't share.  Then I fill water buckets, check the garden  - just in case the tomatoes that I checked on last night miraculously ripened overnight - and I check the hummer feeder.  Dry.  Go inside and fill with homemade nectar and replace.

More hysteria upon re-entry - Lovey must have a bee in her bonnet, as she has managed to snag my reading glasses and chewed one stem a bit.  She goes in her crate with a stern warning.  Not TOO stern, as Pepper is very sensitive to loud voices.  I finish my lukewarm, well, cold, coffee, change into work-type clothes, squint into the mirror (it's amazing how much better you look when you squint), comb hair, brush teeth, apply five seconds of make-up, bid everyone hasta la vista, and head out the door.

Aren't you glad you asked?   You didn't?

14 comments:

Sue said...

Hahahahahha. This was cute. And as a PROFESSIONAL at waking up at 2 (12:30!!), I can sympathize. But hey, we get a LOT done before most people even THINK of getting up. Now if the sun would just cooperate and stop rising later and later. I'm now the NUT JOB out in the darkness with a watering can. Ah well.

Carolyn said...

You really DO squeeze 28 hours into each day.

Susan said...

Sue - At least I'm in good company - besides, that's why they make headlamps. So you can see what you are watering! :)

Susan said...

Carolyn - Only into the first half of the day......... :-0

Deb said...

OK - I'm exhausted just following you around and stumbling over your charges. You really do get lots done in a day. I always said sleep is such a waste. Hope you have a nice, quiet evening. Deb

Michelle said...

You really do!

thecrazysheeplady said...

About the same here...without the make up ;-).

Susan said...

Deb - I really do have to be on my toes - that first venture out in the morning - into the dark, is hair-raising! I am planning on a nice, quiet evening. With wine and cookies... :)

Susan said...

TCSL - I knew it! Of course, you don't NEED make up.... :)

Mama Pea said...

Eeegads, all you natural beauties who don't need make-up! I have been known to nearly scare people to death if they come upon me before my 45 minutes of putting on my face in the morning. (Hahahaha, just kidding. Believe that one and I'll tell you another. Although, I wonder if I spent 45 minutes putting on make up it would help my appearance? Something to think about.)

There must have been something in the air last night. I, too, was awake at 12:30 a.m. after zonking out at 9:30. Difference between us (yes, both of you, Susan and Sue) is that I didn't have the energy to get up. Should have though because I'm sure I spent more energy tossing and turning and getting upset that I wasn't sleeping than I would have had I gotten up and done something useful.

Susan said...

I get up when I can't sleep too, however at breakfast time I go back to bed!

Pioneer Woman at Heart said...

ha ha ha! Oh my. You did have quite a time didn't you. My goodness.

Fiona said...

"We" are on rotating night shift here with "R's" work schedule. The cat and I just get confused as some days he comes home around 3:00 AM and others 6:00 AM. I will email before three with some sort of odd garden story to amuse you! Someone I emailed asked me if I ever sleep and I do quite happily when I can or when I feel tired...sometime I cheat and have a nap around 6 PM when it is quiet and R is at work and I have watered the plants and finished canning or dehydrating stuff. I enjoyed following you around with your "Livestock". Oh as to you thing cat who is a slow eater. My vet recommended real cooked chicken cut in small dice for a cat I had that was that way. Not every meal but once a day. It really helped. I just used the trim from a roast clucker or got a stewing rooster from our local Hutterite colony.

Unknown said...

I'm so glad I have 1 cat!